Bleats

The New Avengers: Endgame Posters Confirm One Character We Didn’t See Get Dusted Definitely Did

To make up for it, another beloved character is confirmed to make their long-awaited return.

To mark the 30-day countdown before Avengers: Endgame is finally here to wreck us all with quips and feels, Marvel has released a posters of nearly every major character in the franchise, all of whom will presumably make in appearance in the film.

But just like how the Endgame trailers have been toying with us this whole time, these posters have come in with a major bombshell that just shattered fans everywhere.

Every character who is still alive got a coloured poster whereas all the characters who got dusted by Thanos in Infinity War got a solemn black and white poster.

But here’s the big twist: among the sea of black and white character posters is one of Shuri, meaning that she also got turned to ash by Thanos even though we didn’t see it onscreen.

After holding out hope that she somehow survived, that theory of Shuri managing to survive and ruling Wakanda until T’Challa’s inevitable return just went up like half of all living creatures in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

On the other hand, at least we also got confirmation that Tessa Thompson’s Valkyrie is alive and ready to kick some ass so there’s some consolation there.

Shuri’s confirmed dusting is a massive shock but it seems like we’ve all been living in denial for the last few months because the very first Endgame trailer actually confirmed her death with blink-or-you’ll-miss moment.

We can’t blame the fans for calling BS on that though. After all, the Russo Brothers have gleefully admitted that all the trailers for most recent Marvel films contain scenes that aren’t in the final cut.

It was heartbreaking enough to see the likes of Peter Parker and Groot get dusted, but killing off Shuri has just kick things up a notch because having arguably smartest person on Earth not survive Thanos’ snap is a bit too cruel.

The upshot is that she’ll definitely come back at some point during Endgame‘s bladder-torturing 3-hour plus run time so we won’t have to worry too much.

But with the Avengers seemingly ready to finish off Thanos once and for all in the upcoming film, here’s hoping that they make the Mad Titan pay for what he’s done and if the best way to do it means shoving Ant-Man up his butt then so be it.

As for Marvel, here’s what I and many fans have to say about Shuri’s dusting:

No words needed here.

The Avengers: Endgame Directors Admit They're Messing With The Trailers, And Our Feelings

Just save yourselves for the actual movie and don't bother with any teasers.

We’re in the homestretch before the much-hyped release of Avengers: Endgame next month and it’s probably an understatement to say that fans everywhere are poring over every single detail in all the released footage in an attempt to glean some info on what’s going to happen in the movie.

It’s all very admirable and the life source of many YouTube channels. It is also all a completely pointless exercise because the directors of Endgame have just implied that they’ve been messing around with all the trailers, and by extension our feelings.

What did you just say?

In a new interview with Empire (via ComingSoon.Net), Joe and Anthony Russo said their main focus and intention in the lead up to Endgame‘s release is to “preserve the surprise of the narrative“.

“The thing that’s most important to us is that we preserve the surprise of the narrative. When I was a kid and saw The Empire Strikes Back at 11am on the day it open […] It so profoundly moved me because I didn’t know a damn thing about the story I was going to watch. We’re trying to replicate that experience.”

Reading between the lines, the Russos basically admitted that they predicted fans will obsessively analyse every single frame of released content and have taken steps to prevent story details from getting out by making trailers out of footage that won’t be in the final film.

While no one has any clue what’s fake and what’s real in the released Endgame footage, fans have already started speculating that the scene in which Tony Stark is reunited with the rest of the Avengers is a fake.

It’s far from the first time the Russos have done this in an attempt to keep spoilers from leaking out.

If you recall that awesome final scene from the Infinity War trailer, the one where Captain America and his buddies run into battle with Hulk in tow, it never actually happened in the final cut and things ended up playing out much differently.

This is all a bunch of lies…

So almost everything related to Endgame you’ve been fed up to now is almost certainly a lie and the many thousands of trailer breakdown videos on YouTube are officially pointless.

For all we know, Captain Marvel may not even be in the film and the Avengers beat Thanos by shoving Ant-Man up the Mad Titan’s butt.

I did say don’t bother watching the Endgame trailers anymore but you might as well do it anyway in an attempt to figure out which scenes are fake before the film comes out in April.

Here's A Very Good Reason Why Putting Ant-Man Up Thanos' Butt Isn't A Winning Avengers Strategy

It's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see if it pays off for 'em.

Possible SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t seen Avengers: Infinity War and Ant-Man And The Wasp.

Up until the point when Thor cleaved his new magic axe into Thanos’ chest with a 10/10 throw at the end of Avengers: Infinity War (only to gloat and subsequently doom half the universe to an ashy end), everyone was wondering how on earth were the Avengers going to take down the seemingly indestructible purple Mad Titan.

Disregarding Thor, if Tony Stark got handily desuited and Hulk got beaten so badly he’s gone into permanent hiding in Bruce Banner’s body, then some outside-of-the-box thinking would be needed for the Avengers to triumph.

One particularly creative Redditor came up with an idea that’s so crazy that it will make you wonder why you didn’t think of it: putting Ant-Man up Thanos’ butt and having him expand.

On (toilet) paper, it seems like a bold but potentially good strategy. Get Scott right up there in Thanos’ good bits and turn him into a gross pile of purple mush from the inside out by expanding into Giant-Man. But sadly, that plan would fail before Ant-Man gets past the Mad Titan’s waistband.

According to the Redditor who brought up the idea in the first place, it is highly unlikely that Scott will be able to even wound Thanos after expanding let alone kill him.

Ant-Man And The Wasp showed that when Scott was forced to curl himself up uncomfortably when enlarged in a small room rather than breaking apart the walls. Combine that with Thanos’ near-invulnerability against the high-tech Iron Man suit (which is much more durable than the Ant-Man suit and some measly plaster walls), Scott basically becomes instant mush the moment he expands in the purple giant’s butt.

That image of Scott being crushed in Thanos’ butt is in your brain now.

That failing strategy might’ve bought the Avengers some precious seconds against Thanos since it would at leave him in some discomfort, but Scott’s hypothetical death via rectal disintegration ultimately wouldn’t have done much in the long run.

And with the all-powerful Captain Marvel waiting in the wings to have a crack at the Mad Titan, who is gravely injured thanks to Thor anyway, Ant-Man will probably be glad that his services won’t involve any rear entries into giant purple aliens.

It was a valiant effort nonetheless but for now, we’ll just have to go back to the drawing board until all is revealed in Avengers: Endgame in April.

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