Bleats

Someone Tried To Buy Weed With An Actual Thor ID And We Have Many Questions About Its Dodginess

Or maybe Thor is legit just a stoner now.

When you’re in Canada and you’re underage but want to get your hands on some (legal) weed, the usual route is to get a convincing fake ID and hope for the best. What you don’t do is make a fake ID of the character of Thor, complete with Chris Hemsworth‘s face as the photo.

Well that’s exactly what one genius/idiot did.

Twitter user @cottoncandaddy shared a photo of a legit fake ID of Marvel’s seductive Lord God of Thunder that their sister, who works for an online weed dispensary, got and, well, just look at it.

Completely disregarding the fact that the genius/idiot who made this went with one of the most recognisable faces on the planet, we have a bunch of questions about this ID.

Firstly, what is up with the photo? If you’re going to use a photo of Chris Hemsworth, at least use one of him looking at the camera and not one of him staring off in some random direction.

Secondly, “69 Big Hammer Ln” is obviously a fake address thought up by some 14-year-old kid. At least use a semi-legit address, dumbarse.

Thirdly, the height and weight stats are completely out of wack. Thor is a big guy but no one in their right mind is going to think that he is 205cm and 68kg. Those are the stats for Slender Man, not a Norse god.

205cm and 68kg indeed.

And lastly, even if the person used a convincing photo of Chris/Thor and had the correct physical stats and address, the ID is expired. Since 2017.

At least they got the hair colour right.

So unless the person on shift was a complete moron or if Chris Hemsworth wanted to get some weed and left his ID somewhere there’s no way in hell this fake ID was going to make the cut.

The genius/idiot would have a better chance of buying weed if the real-life Thor flew down to Earth and bought it for him. Don’t rule that possibility out though because the God of Thunder was going through some serious stuff in the last Avengers movie and could definitely some stress relief.

Black Widow Will Finally Pay Off Your Favourite Long-Running Avengers Joke

It's like the Black Widow film was willed into existence purely to service this gag.

Two big questions fans had about the upcoming Black Widow film is where in the Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline it sits and what story it will tell given that she’s, you know, dead.

These were seemingly answered when eagle-eyed fans snapped a few photos on the set of the film, revealing that it will be set between Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War.

But it seems like Marvel had an extra trick up its sleeve as apparently the film will also dive into Natasha Romanoff’s backstory while also paying off one of the best gags that was introduced in The Avengers: Budapest.

We’re definitely going to remember Budapest very differently after this.

During Marvel’s stacked 2019 Comic-Con panel, the comic book behemoth trotted out the long-awaited first look of the Black Widow film and revealed that at least part of it will indeed take place in Budapest prior to any MCU movie we’ve seen.

While it was short on story, the screened footage is reportedly full of arse-kicking scenes that includes a sizzle reel celebrating the character, Natasha and her “sister” Yelena greeting each other in Budapest with a bout of fisticuffs, and David Harbour as some sort of Russian Captain America.

It all sounds awesome and feels like Marvel is doing its own version of the gritty, Jason Bourne-esque action film. But let’s be honest, the biggest thing anyone is here for is the Budapest stuff. After eight years of pondering over that seemingly throwaway one-line gag, we’re finally getting a much-delayed pay off. Good things come to those who wait I suppose.

What on earth went down in Budapest? WE NEED TO KNOW!

This also throws up a question of whether Hawkeye will appear in the film as a sort of secret character since he and Natasha “remember Budapest very differently” to each other. While he was under house arrest between Civil War and Infinity War, who knows what he was up to prior to the MCU films.

Maybe he was a rival agent? Perhaps they accidentally crossed paths and ended up being BFFs? Or maybe they had a secret European fling before Clint met his lovely wife? It’s all up in the air.

There’s still a bit of a wait before we see anything as Black Widow is penciled in for a May 1, 2020 release, so there’s plenty of time to speculate what exactly went down in Budapest that left such lasting memories for Natasha (and Hawkeye).

Avengers: Endgame Has Finally Beaten Avatar At The Box Office, But The Future Of Film Looks Grim

Wonder what James Cameron has up his sleeve in response to the loss of his crown.

After some doubts over whether Avengers: Endgame could topple Avatar at the box office, it seems like Marvel’s hastily cobbled together Endgame re-release has managed to finally push the film over the finish line.

That’s right, Captain America’s arse has beaten the blue people of Pandora for the crown of highest-grossing film of all time.

According to estimates from Deadline, Endgame has managed to squeak past Avatar‘s tally of $2.789 billion. Where it will end up remains to be seen but the folks at Marvel probably don’t care at this point. They’ve taken down the king of the world and that’s really all that matters.

Sorry, James Cameron.

Endgame‘s achievement is no small feat – Avatar had held the all-time box office champ title for nearly decade – and it gives us an insightful look into where the film industry is going.

And folks, the future doesn’t look too bright.

Of the top 50 highest-grossing films of all time, a whopping 46 are either sequels, adaptations or based on existing properties. The only four “original” films sprinkled across this list are Avatar, Titanic, Zootopia, and the original Lion King. In fact, the top 10 highest-grossing films in 2019 are all remakes, sequels or adaptations of some kind.

There’s a worrying lack of creativity and original stories coming out of thee top end of Hollywood and it doesn’t look like that pattern will change any time soon. With sequels, adaptations, and remakes raking in the big bucks, there’s even less incentive for studios to bankroll big-budget originals like what they used to do decades ago.

Well, it definitely feels like it’s been 84 years.

This doesn’t mean that Hollywood is completely devoid of creativity though as we’ve had some brilliant original films, like Parasite, still making headlines in 2019.

Those moments are getting rarer though as Hollywood’s model of pumping out rehashed material means that more original content is being forced into the independent and streaming scene where there’s considerably less buzz and eyeballs.

Then again, there’s no real business reason for Hollywood to change its current formula. If millions of folks are still keen to watch The Last Of The Fate Of The Furious Episode XII: The Endgame Awakens, why mess with something that’s working?

Maybe Hollywood will become a complete sequel machine and platforms like Netflix will be the go-to places for originals. Or maybe original content will make a comeback at the box office and comic book film adaptations finally stop being cool. Who knows what will happen in the future.

Let’s just see what James Cameron has up his sleeve to topple Endgame after he’s done with his 23 sequels to Avatar.

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