Bleats

Never Forget: A Marvel Star Once Flogged Phone Sex To Lonely Singles In Your Area

Gotta pay the bills before becoming an Avenger.

Before the roster of Marvel superstars got to where they were now, all of them had to go through periods where they took on questionable jobs.

Chris Hemsworth cleaned breast pumps before getting on shows like Home & Away, Paul Rudd starred in some crazy Hong Kong action movie where he butchered Cantonese as a language, and Chris Evans was the hunky face of a cringy 90s board game.

But those hold no candle to what Evangeline Lilly did early in her career. Before suiting up as the Wasp, she was – *drum roll* – flogging phone sex to lonely singles in your area.

Wait what?

Evangeline was doing a bunch of ads and small TV bits before she made it big on Lost. One of those ads was for a service called Live Links, which is basically a phone sex line for all those local singles in your area.

If that all sounds cringy, well you’d be more than right. Between the forced smiles, awful dialogue and scenes where she’s definitely, absolutely enjoying speaking to some lonely single person on the phone, the 2003 ad is simply terrible in the best way possible.

Look, when you’re a struggling actor who’s struggling to pay the bills, you’re in no position to be picky with jobs.

And besides, you gotta put food on the table before the Avengers come calling, even if it means getting paid to be in a cheesy phone sex ad.

Chris Evans Just Shat All Over His Captain America Nice Guy Persona And We're Totally Here For It

Steve Rogers not be happy to see what he's become.

After ticking off “making a Star Wars movie and pissing off fanboys everywhere” from his moviemaking checklist, Rian Johnson has pulled the curtain back on his follow up film, Knives Out.

In contrast to the big budgeted Last Jedi, Knives Out is a smaller affair that’s basically a new spin on the whodunit murder mystery involving the mysterious death of a celebrated novelist. But as exciting as the premise is, the real draw of Knives Out is the absolutely stacked cast.

You’ve got Daniel Craig as the lead detective sent to solve the murder and is rocking a weird Brit-ish accent.

Definitely stirred.

There’s Jamie Lee Curtis rocking a pink suit and looking like Michael from The Good Place.

The Good Place personified.

And you’ve got sassy Toni Collette who is having none of whatever Daniel Craig is serving up.

Nice.

But the pièce de résistance of the Knives Out trailer and perhaps the whole film is Chris Evans, who sheds his Captain America good guy persona in favour of a smarmy douchenozzle character who could make Steve Rogers weep.

Look, all you need to know is that he tells three people in succession to, ahem, “eat sh*t”, and we’re totally here for every single frame of it.

Yeah, you heard that right.

From having America’s arse to being America’s arsehole. Who would’ve thought?

Anyway, check out the entire trailer here and be supremely entertained by every single second of it, especially the dickhead Chris Evans parts.

As for when we’ll get to see Knives Out, the film comes out November 27 so we won’t have to wait too long to see Chris going all in on the weirdness by being a foul-mouthed arsehole cop who likes telling people to consume their own body waste.

Forget Doc Ock, Tom Holland's Spider-Man Suit Could Actually Kill Him

The real enemy was on him this entire time.

Spider-Man: Far From Home sees Peter Parker take on a bunch of new enemies called the Elementals, all of whom pack a decent punch and might be the toughest foes he’s faced so far in his solo films.

But it turns out the deadliest enemy isn’t Vulture, Thanos, or the Elementals. Nope, that title actually belongs to Tom Holland‘s Spidey suit because it could literally kill him for real.

Looks like Spider-Man’s real enemy was, uh, on him this entire time. Kinda like Venom, actually.

I’d have the same reaction too if I knew my suit could kill me.

In an interview with MTV, Zendaya and Jacob Batalon revealed that Tom’s Spidey suit is actually a skin-tight, one piece ensemble – including the mask – that’s hard to get in and even harder to get out of. So while it looks cool, the pair aren’t exactly envious of Tom getting to wear the Spidey suit.

But for Zendaya, she also harbours a very real fear that Tom could actually die by choking on his own vomit while in the suit.

“I get scared all the time like, what if he’s working so hard that he throws up. And then he can’t— he chokes!”

It sounds incredibly stupid and disgusting yet it makes sense. Say Tom is ill and he needs to lose his lunch, he can’t just take off the mask because of its one-piece design. That means he’s going to be stuck in a pool of his own vomit and he’s in serious danger until someone cuts him out.

That’s… not that implausible of a concern now that I think about it. Gross, yes, but definitely within the realm of plausibility.

It’s actually pretty impressive how much thought Zendaya put into how Tom could potentially die in his Spidey suit, which makes her the perfect person to play the sardonic MJ.

Between getting dusted by Thanos or dying by vomit choke, it seems like Spider-Man isn’t safe from the grim reaper in either fiction or real life.

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