It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

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It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

How To Grow An Apocalypse Garden From Someone Who Kills Every Plant

Not all plants are created equal.

One of the suggestions that’s been floating around as a way to deal with the fact that we can’t get any vegetables at the supermarket (thanks for that, panic buyers) is that we should all start a vegetable garden. I love this idea quite frankly, and I’m very here for the idea of being self-sustainable. There’s only one problem. I don’t know how to grow a garden and I kill every plant I try to keep alive.

Because we’re in the midst of a global pandemic and we all need something to do, I figured now was as good a time as any to work out which plants were the hardest to accidentally kill and therefore what I will be eating a ton of should it come to that.

After a long Google search for “plants that are impossible to kill,” I give to you your new gardening project.

Lettuce

Maybe not the most interesting of foods, but it will keep you alive during the coronavirus apocalypse, and also you can make some nice salads. It grows quickly, doesn’t really care if it doesn’t get full sun, and you can apparently whack it in a plastic container and it will grow there too.

Peas

Turns out there’s a reason that we all had to grow these as kids, and that’s because they’re simple enough to teach kids how to keep a garden. Mostly. I think I drowned mine because I assumed that watering them meant they’d know I loved them. Anyway. Give them something to climb, and don’t give them too much water. Turns out they hate that.

Cherry Tomatoes

If you can get them to the point where they start to produce tomatoes, they’ll basically become indestructible and never stop making tomatoes. The plants are supposedly tolerant to pretty much any stuff up you put it through, so this is probably the place to start.

Carrots

As long as they’re in the full sun, they should be happy. They might not get to massive sizes (especially if your soil is rocky) but if they get to an edible size then I’d call that a win. 

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