This week the Kardashian followers and non-believers alike have been foaming at the mouth for the gossip on the familial cheating scandal.
me: i literally could not care LESS ab the kardashians!!!!
also me seeing the jordyn/tristan/khloe drama: pic.twitter.com/ZtKuy1jl5q
— karen (@khaleeseas) February 20, 2019
As the story goes, Khloe K’s husband and the father of her child, Tristan Thompson, hooked up with her sister Kylie Jenner’s BFF and honourary Kardashian Klan member, Jordan Woods.
From all the cryptic signs and posts coming out of the various family members, the scandal is all but confirmed and it looks like Jordan is getting the boot from the house, from the Kylie Lip Kit world and from the fandom’s hearts.
Jordyn Woods getting all the Kylie cosmetics she can before getting removed from the premises pic.twitter.com/6qQ07KCVuO
— Thalia magana (@magana__thalia) February 20, 2019
It’s red hot and spicy drama, and we’re clearly thirsting for it. Why else would our entire nation be hooked on the wild ride that is MAFS?
But the Kardashians are not the only people living a real life soap opera, they’re just the people we hear about. The wonderful world of the internet allows us to indulge in the explosive cheating stories of the general public, and feed our need for scandal.
So please enjoy these IRL stories of betrayal that make Khloe Kardashian’s current situation seem relatively chill.
Kris Jenner and TMZ after she dropped that Tristan and Jordyn story pic.twitter.com/ADXO4YStuc
— Blizzy Blix (@BowDownBish1) February 20, 2019
#1. Khloe’s Situation x 1000
Sure Khloe’s man cheated with her sister’s BFF, but things could be worse.
15 years. Her best friend. The same damn tent. That’s just not right.
#2. At Least She Has All Her Organs
In times of struggle, we must be grateful for what we do have. In Khloe’s case, she at least held onto her kidneys, and Tristan only took away her trust, time, and the promise to be faithful in marriage and parenthood. Lucky Khloe!
#3. This Is A Lot
The second story here is a ride much wilder than the one the Kardashians are currently on. From the pregnancy to the abortion to the money to the car wreck to the CAMPING TRIP.
I repeat, this is a lot.
#4. This Is How You Really Hurt Someone
After discovering that this guy is a dirty little cheater, his ex proceeded to unblock him every week just to send Game of Thrones spoilers before he could watch it.
Straight for the jugular.
#5. This Escalated Quickly
This is some expert-level cheating if this guy managed to sustain three three girlfriends, one wife, with one kid on the way, AND managed to convince girlfriend #1 that she didn’t witness the cheating.
There’s a special place in hell for you mate.
#6. I Wish This Had Happened Within The Kardashian Fam
In a now-deleted Reddit post, one user seeks advice after discovering that his partner is a ‘furry’, i.e. part of the fandom for furry cartoon creatures with human personalities, and yes, it’s a sex thing.
Can you imagine if this happened to one of the Kardashian’s partners? That would make great TV @KrisJenner.
You can read the IRL furry scandal below.
“Me [22M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 7 months, found out she’s a “furry” and in the fandom, got angry when I found out.”
“I was using my girlfriend’s laptop to research stuff, while she was out of the room. Nothing shady, no history diving or anything. It was a situation where the auto-fill came in and revealed that my girlfriend is a furry.”
“There were links to furry social networks, the furry subreddit, furry porn and artwork. I admit I did type in ‘furr’ just to see if that was the case. Lots and lots of links popped up in the search bar. I backspaced and didn’t know what to think, so I left it for a few hours.”
“When it was quiet and we were watching a movie, I asked her if she was a furry. She looked at me sideways with a frown and asked why. I felt bad, but I told her the truth and what I had found. She immediately got up, grabbed her stuff and left. I tried to stop her but she would not say a word to me. This was yesterday evening, still no communication.”
“I know what furries are, and I admit that I have been in situations where people are like, ‘Haha, fucking furries,’ and I have laughed. I don’t know how long she’s been a furry or why she didn’t tell me ever. What do I do?”
#7. This Is Brutal But Smart
I feel like the Kardashians would actually have a certain level of respect for this cheater, who requested that all FOUR of her boyfriends buy her the same purse for her birthday, sold three for money, and none of the boys had any idea the kind of business strategy they were a part of.
Kris Jenner would be proud.
So once there’s a lull in the Khloe Kardashian betrayal story palooza, just remember that there’s plenty of scandals out there in the world, waiting to fill the drama-shaped hole in your life.