Bleats

YouTubers Jake Paul And Tana Mongeau Getting Engaged Is An Incredibly Smart Business Move

Love is a business transaction, apparently.

When two people get engaged, the usual response is one of happiness and delight that they’ve found each other.

But when those two newly engaged people happen to be irritating online influencers, you’re more likely get a skeptical “huh” as opposed to “congrats!”

After two months of “dating”, YouTuber Jake Paul popped the big question to fellow YouTuber Tana Mongeau before the couple obnoxiously broadcasted the news all over Twitter and Instagram in their usual over-the-top way.

If you’re one of the many people who are skeptical about this whole engagement thing, you’re far from the only one. Paul and Mongeau got popular doing and saying stupid stuff on YouTube, and their whirlwind engagement is the latest in a well-established pattern of idiocy from the pair.

While we can debate all day over the integrity of Paul and Mongeau’s relationship, the one thing you can’t deny about their engagement is how brilliant of a business move it is. It’s certainly a better strategy than telling everyone that you totally didn’t bone and jizz on your cat.

For better or worse, the pair were already among the biggest YouTubers currently operating before they hooked up and their popularity then skyrocketed even further when they got together. Even though they outright said that their relationship is all about “clout”, fans still got suckered into this whole schtick.

Their “couple videos” have amassed over 50 million views across their respective channels, which is more viewers than what the Game of Thrones finale, their social media profile continues to boom, and more subscribers are flooding in daily. Hell, they even started releasing ridiculously overpriced “Jana” merch just in case you weren’t convinced that the couple are in it for the money.

And now that Paul and Mongeau are engaged, those views, merch sales, and subscriber numbers are almost certainly set to soar even higher than they already inexplicably are.

I’m not knocking them for doing what they’re doing, it’s just smart business and it makes perfect sense. Hell, they would’ve been stupid not to do it.

Regardless of what happens to the couple at this point and what you think of them as people, it’s all been a brilliant publicity stunt that’s raked in a heap of attention and money for the pair.

Paul and Mongeau may be idiots of the highest order but they certainly know how to cater to their audience.

This Instagram Influencer's Pitch Begging For Sponsors Will Make Your Resume Look Slick

The amount of desperate energy on show here is actually pretty impressive.

It must be quite the life to be an Instagraminfluencer“. You essentially get paid to document every waking second of your meticulously handcrafted life to your followers while throwing in the occasional shout out to your sponsors.

Who am I to judge what people do to make a living though? All I do is put words into semi-coherent sentences.

But it seems that one influencer may have pushed this a smidge too far when her “surprise” engagement turned out to be nothing more than a carefully planned thing the whole time.

An Instagrammer’s “surprise” engagement not turning out to be legit?

I’m shocked, I say. Shocked.

This influencer in question is “well-placed fashion blogger” and Goop employee, Marissa Casey Fuchs, and the backstory is that she got engaged on around June 18 via a ridiculous 48-hour scavenger hunt from New York City to Paris, nearly every second of which was documented on her Instagram. This whole schtick went viral and Fuchs quickly amassed thousands upon thousands of new followers.

While fans were gripped by this whole engagement whirlwind, The Atlantic reported that this was nothing but an elaborate ruse planned well beforehand by Fuchs and her sponsors.

Before this “engagement” kicked off, potential brands and agencies received a PDF pitch document outlining the entire proposal adventure as a kind of possible sponsorship agreement.

And boy was the document an exercise in desperate cringe.

The pitch contained a detailed itinerary for all the “spontaneous” things Fuchs’ would-be fiancé would do to “surprise” her, as well as a one-slide summary of her relationship, which sounds been quite nice if the whole thing was, you know, sincere.

But the pitch’s pièce de résistance are all the facepalm-worthy phrases, such as:

  • “A one-of-a-kind proposal experience for a one-of-a-kind female ambitionist.”
  • “We’re pleased to offer your brand the opportunity to align with this momentous occasion and the beautiful cities she will be visiting along the way.”

I’m willing to bet that even the worst draft of your resume doesn’t reek this much of desperate energy.

Check out the ridiculously hilarious pitch document right here and try not to strain yourself from all the cringing you will do.

Now this is far from the first time that an influencer has aligned themselves with brands in order to pull of “spontaneous” events, and Fuches certainly won’t be the last. But this is perhaps the funniest behind-the-scenes deep dive into one since we got a bunch of receipts detailing what went down.

To Fuches credit, she is maintaining the facade and shaking off the growing wave of criticism directed at her for this whole charade. But hey, that’s the Instagram influencer life right there.

Instagram's Secret Setting Will Reveal Your Dark Past, So Heaven Help Us All

Welp, time to delete everything and go off the grid.

If you’ve been on Instagram since it became a thing in 2010, you’ve likely done some cringeworthy things on that app, such as stalking your crushes, having some embarrassing usernames, and coming up with some god awful bios when you went through that emo phase during high school.

Well folks, it seems like you can’t outrun your embarrassing Instagram past because there’s a secret setting that will reveal everything you’ve searched and changed on your profile, as well as private info you may have linked to it.

That’s right, the skeletons in your Insta closet are about to be unearthed.

If you go to Settings > Security > Account Data, you’ll see that Instagram has been hoarding a LOT of your information that includes:

  • Account privacy changes
  • Password changes
  • Former email addresses
  • Former phone numbers

But perhaps most worryingly for some people, Instagram also has a complete record of potentially scandalous things like:

  • Former user names
  • Former full names
  • Former bio texts
  • Former bio links
  • Current follow requests
  • Search history

In short, there’s a record of almost everything you have done or changed on your Instagram profile, with the exception of your photos and videos.

As someone once said in that excellent Facebook movie from 2010, the internet is indeed written in ink and not incredibly-difficult-to-erase pencil.

If you did the smart thing and didn’t get Instagram or haven’t bothered to use it, then you’re in the clear.

But if you’ve changed more things on your Insta profile than what George Lucas has done to Star Wars, your best bet would be to delete everything off your phone and going off the grid for a while.

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