Everyone goes through periods of sadness and grief, that’s life. But how you go through sadness differs from person to person. So, if you’re noticing your mates acting a little off and you’re not really sure of what to do, here’s some advice that’ll help you look after them. These are five different ways that your mates might express their sadness and how to help ‘em through it.
The IDGAF Sadness
The ‘I don’t care’ attitude is just one way that people manifest sadness. Ironically, sadness here can take the form of showing no emotion at all. Here, people lack the energy to feel the same feels that they usually do and giving up is their way of dealing with it. Does this mean that you should give up too? God no! If you feel like your mate has suddenly lost their zest for life, the one thing you can do is start the conversation. Let the person know that you see their actions and you’re there to listen if they need. Sometimes all you have to do to help someone, is be there.
The Always-On Sadness
This sadness is one of the more confusing manifestations because they don’t appear to be sad at all. This range of sadness hides under the surface of a hyper-energetic, really enthusiastic, entertaining friend. Their comedy and energy offer a false protection from the well of pain that hides underneath the surface. If your friend is suddenly acting overly energetic and they’re carrying a sense of panic with themselves, here’s what to do: organise a meet-up with just the two of you in a setting that’s calm and distraction-free. Start the conversation with them and listen to what they have to say. Don’t try and input your own experiences in the situation and don’t try to find an immediate solution, chat through their experiences together and let them come to a conclusion by themselves.
The Eat-All-The-Food Sadness
With this sadness, people find immediate comfort in a bit of junk food and thus indulge a little, but that quick comfort turns to extreme sadness as prospective weight-gain comes into inner-thoughts. To help this friend, take them out to a healthy café or ask to catch up over a trip to the gym or the local park. By helping them get their endorphins going, you’ll help them experience positive feelings that have long-term health benefits.
The Self-Pity Sadness
This is the ‘everything sucks, so why even bother’ manifestation of sadness. Here, your mates might be down in the dumps, wallowing in their own misery and concluding that they’re not even worthy of help. Their perception of the world is warped, negative things become the norm and good things become merely flukes or accidents. While this may be one of the most difficult manifestations of sadness for friends and loved ones to witness, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try! To help a friend experiencing this kind of sadness, make it known that you care for them. Remind them of their achievements and try to explain that their achievements aren’t flukes. Also, affirm that their feelings make sense and you’re there to help them kerb negative thoughts.
The Exhausted and Tired Sadness
If one of your friends is increasingly complaining about how tired they are, it might be time for you to wake up. Stress and anxiety are proven to make oneself weary and run-down. This form of sadness is also dangerous because of its cyclical nature in that depression itself causes fatigue and fatigue can cause depression. If this is the case, ask them how they are and what’s got them so exhausted. If possible, offer your help with taking the load off. If you can’t help in any immediate way, suggest action steps for themselves to follow.
If you need more information on starting the conversation, batyr is here to help. They’re a preventative mental health organisation, created and driven by young people, for young people. They’re helping young Australians have those “it’s awkward but” convos about mental health. Check ‘em out here.