Talking about mental health is hard. But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
With seven in every 30 young Aussies dealing with mental health issues, chances are, there are people in your inner circle that are doing it a little tough. So, if you notice your friends acting a little differently, shying away from you or acting slightly distant, now’s your chance to speak up. Yes, it would be easier to keep quiet and pretend like nothing’s wrong, but that would be a huge dick move of you. Honestly, you’d actually be cancelled. If you feel awkward, just imagine how awkward it would be for them. Yeah…
It’s time to push past the awkwardness and start the conversation. Having said this, there are some no-no’s when it comes to saying something. For example, you might feel the urge to say things like “you’ll be right, just walk it off” or “you seem off today, what’s up with that?”. This is an example of what not to say. So, if you fall into this category, we have some advice for you. Here are 5 ways to help someone struggling with their mental health.
1. “Do You Wanna Get A Coffee?”
The only way to start the mental health convo is to, well… start it. Invite your mate out to a coffee or a drink so that the two of you can have some one-on-one time together. It’s pretty hard to open up in a group setting so create an environment that’s actually comfortable for them. It should ideally be distraction-free so that your friend knows they have your full attention. Obviously, if they’re not an alcohol-drinker don’t take them to a bar. Today is not about you, or the two glasses of red you can’t live without.
2. Take the Conversation Seriously
Get ready to channel Beyoncé in Dreamgirls, because it’s time to listen.
The most important thing to do is listen to everything they say. It’s definitely not a vibe to make jokes about how they’re feeling or how much they’ve changed. Let them lead the conversation and don’t pressure them to tell you anything they don’t want to. Sometimes it helps to repeat what they’ve told you back to them so that they understand that you are listening.
3. Please, Don’t Make It About You
Look, I know it’s hard to have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around you, but give it a crack! Today, it’s time to give your full attention to someone who truly needs it. And please, for the love of God, do not try and diagnose them or second guess their feelings. That’s not on. You’re not a doctor or a counsellor, it’s not your time to shine, don’t jump to conclusions about what you think they have.
4. Keep Those Questions Open-Ended
By asking open-ended questions like “How are you feeling?” or “What’s going on with you?”, you open the conversation up for them to share as much or as little as they would like. Not to mention, it stops them from feeling like they’re in an interrogation room. Bombarding is never good.
5. Not Every Problem Needs A Solution
Sometimes, problems don’t need solutions. More often than not, your friend just needs someone to make them laugh and keep them company. So, if they’re not wanting to open up, that doesn’t mean they want to be left alone. Take them to a movie, go to a beach or show them some memes, whatever you do just hang out with them. Your friend’s problems won’t always have an immediate solution that’s employable today. Life’s tricky and it’s not necessarily black and white.
If you need more information on starting the conversation, batyr is here to help. They’re a preventative mental health organisation, created and driven by young people, for young people. They’re helping young Australians have those “it’s awkward but” convos about mental health. Check ‘em out here.