Good Luck To The Convicted Murderer Trying To Be Forgotten By The Internet

The internet never forgets.

A German murderer who was convicted of killing two people has gone to court to try and win the right to have his name wiped from the internet. Yep, he wants to be totally forgotten.

The case was thrown out when he first tried in 2012, but in news nobody expected, he took it to the high court and they said he does actually have that right. 

It’s called the “right to be forgotten”, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s only a law in the European Union and Argentina, but if you win it then publications that have written about you legally have to restrict who can access their online archives. 

Everything is

I have two major problems with this.

One: The guy is a convicted murderer. He straight up shot two people on a yacht in 1982 and seriously hurt another person. He went to jail and was only released in 2002. Surely it’s in the public interest to know whether or not the person who lives next to you is someone who is prone to shooting people during an argument.

Two: Good luck with that one, buddy. The internet never forgets, and this particular case was high profile enough over in Germany that there have been books written about it and a whole documentary series made. 


Look. If Beyonce couldn’t get that unflattering Super Bowl picture of her removed from the internet, there’s no way in hell anybody else can. Seriously. Do you honestly reckon you can pull off something that Beyonce couldn’t?

We’re in a world where technology is advancing at such a stupid fast rate, it’s probably fair to say that we’ve all lost control of the internet at this point.

I mean, we probably have

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re worried everyone will be able to Google the fact that you killed some people, maybe you should have thought about that before you murdered anyone? We’re not about to magically forget the fact that you’re a murderer, dude.

Just a suggestion.

Robots Could Fear Death As Much As Humans, So That's Fun

They're real boys now!

The question of how we get robots to perform better is one that robotics experts are constantly asking, but it seems they maybe someone has cracked the code. How do we make robots better at their jobs? Make them understand (and fear) the concept of death. 

What… what?

Yup! It’s grim, but it just might work according to a new study from the University of Southern California. The authors of the paper sum it up by saying: 

“In a dynamic and unpredictable world, an intelligent agent should hold its own meta-goal of self-preservation, like living organisms whose survival relies on homeostasis: the regulation of body states aimed at maintaining conditions compatible with life.”

The paper is full of a lot of language like that and technical terms, but the bottom line of the study is this:

We give the robots feelings. By programming them to understand that certain behaviours could lead to their destruction, they’ll develop a sense of self preservation and make better choices. Further into the future, it could be a key step in developing more advanced AI.

We humans don’t even really realise how this sense of self preservation helps us every day, but our senses are constantly giving our brains information about whether or not we’re too hot or cold, in pain, getting hungry, etc. Or, telling us that if we look too far out over this cliff, we might fall off of it and die.

By giving this knowledge to robots, they’ll theoretically be able to function far better as machines, and sort themselves out without human intervention. With any luck, that means they’ll break down less often. 

This is what we’re trying to avoid

And maybe after a few years, once the robots are done cursing us for letting them know that they can die, we’ll be able to have an existential crisis together. The future is bright.

We’re Living In A Simulation, And Ghosts Are Here To Prove It

Everything is a lie.

We’ve all had the thought cross our minds at some point that we’re just Sims living our lives by the click of some omnipotent cosmic teenager, and if you haven’t then you have now (sorry). If you’ve written it off as a weird shower thought, then I’m sorry to spike your anxiety here, but simulation theory is a legit thing.

It’s a mind-f of a theory that says we’re all living in a computer simulation, and that reality isn’t actually real. A lot more people have taken an interest in it since Elon Musk brought it up in Joe Rogan’s podcast, at one point saying:

“If you assume any rate of improvement at all, then games will be indistinguishable from reality, or civilization will end. One of those two things will occur. Therefore, we are most likely in a simulation, because we exist.” 

To be fair, it was also the interview that Elon smoked a blunt through, so do what you want with that information.

If you want some proof that’s a little bit more convincing than “we are most likely in a simulation, because we exist,” then enter Dr Curry Guinn. He’s a computer scientist and professor at the University of North Carolina, and has spoken about simulation theory at a film festival. 

One thing that every video game or computer world has is glitches. So what glitches might there be in our computer world? 

“Deja Vu, such as in the Matrix movie when a character sees a cat crossing a doorway repeatedly, may be one glitch,” Guinn said at the festival. “Ghosts, ESP, coincidences may be others. The laws of physics in our universe seem peculiarly designed with a set of constants that make carbon-based life possible. Where are the edges?”

Sorry for the existential crisis you probably didn’t need, but I’m all in on this theory. Ghosts are not only real, but proof that we’re all Sims. Badeesh teekaloo geelfrob, mates.

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