Bleats

Harry Potter Will Legit Determine Whether You're A Good Or Bad Person

Science says there's no Hogwarts mystery behind how Harry Potter determines whether you're a muggle or wizard.

There’s a lot of people who like the Harry Potter series and there are a lot of people who absolutely hate it. It’s just what happens when something is arguably the biggest pop-culture phenomenon to wander along in recent memory.

It’s perfectly fine to like or not like something, we all have different tastes in stuff after all. But if you ever needed any reason to suddenly get into all things Harry Potter and Hogwarts, here’s a really good one: you’re likely a good person if you like the books.

Must. Like. Harry. Potter.

According to a study, fans who feel warmly towards Harry and his group of buddies are less likely to be intolerant towards minorities.

The three-part study involved surveying three different groups of readers – primary school children, high school students, and uni students – before and after they read parts of Harry Potter that were related to prejudice towards stigmatised groups (like when Draco called Hermione a mudblood).

The results showed that those who were surveyed developed greater empathy towards prejudiced groups by living vicariously through Harry’s “positive attitudes and behaviours” to minority communities.

If by magic you mean respect and equality then yes, I too love magic.

When you think about it, this conclusion makes sense. Through Harry’s difficult upbringing, his underdog status and his relationships with society’s underdogs, like the Weasleys and “mudbloods”, or the ostracised, like Hagrid and Neville, children are taught about treating everyone with respect.

Furthermore, the series shines a negative light on racism and prejudice through the characterisation of Voldemort as an evil being who strives to ostracise anyone else who isn’t a pure-blooded witch or wizard. So while you were getting all hung up over horocruxes and whether Draco was in love with Harry, you were also getting a crash course on tolerance and equality.

No magic to be found here, just some important lessons about being a good person and some data-driven science.

You know Jesse’s likely a Harry Potter fan while Walt definitely isn’t.

That’s not to say that you’re a bad person if you don’t like Harry Potter. You can be a perfectly good human being and still hate The Boy Who Lived. But it’s nice to know that science says being a Potterhead means you’re likely to be a brave Gryffindor, loyal Hufflepuff or genius Ravenclaw than an evil Slytherin.

Avengers: Endgame Has Finally Beaten Avatar At The Box Office, But The Future Of Film Looks Grim

Wonder what James Cameron has up his sleeve in response to the loss of his crown.

After some doubts over whether Avengers: Endgame could topple Avatar at the box office, it seems like Marvel’s hastily cobbled together Endgame re-release has managed to finally push the film over the finish line.

That’s right, Captain America’s arse has beaten the blue people of Pandora for the crown of highest-grossing film of all time.

According to estimates from Deadline, Endgame has managed to squeak past Avatar‘s tally of $2.789 billion. Where it will end up remains to be seen but the folks at Marvel probably don’t care at this point. They’ve taken down the king of the world and that’s really all that matters.

Sorry, James Cameron.

Endgame‘s achievement is no small feat – Avatar had held the all-time box office champ title for nearly decade – and it gives us an insightful look into where the film industry is going.

And folks, the future doesn’t look too bright.

Of the top 50 highest-grossing films of all time, a whopping 46 are either sequels, adaptations or based on existing properties. The only four “original” films sprinkled across this list are Avatar, Titanic, Zootopia, and the original Lion King. In fact, the top 10 highest-grossing films in 2019 are all remakes, sequels or adaptations of some kind.

There’s a worrying lack of creativity and original stories coming out of thee top end of Hollywood and it doesn’t look like that pattern will change any time soon. With sequels, adaptations, and remakes raking in the big bucks, there’s even less incentive for studios to bankroll big-budget originals like what they used to do decades ago.

Well, it definitely feels like it’s been 84 years.

This doesn’t mean that Hollywood is completely devoid of creativity though as we’ve had some brilliant original films, like Parasite, still making headlines in 2019.

Those moments are getting rarer though as Hollywood’s model of pumping out rehashed material means that more original content is being forced into the independent and streaming scene where there’s considerably less buzz and eyeballs.

Then again, there’s no real business reason for Hollywood to change its current formula. If millions of folks are still keen to watch The Last Of The Fate Of The Furious Episode XII: The Endgame Awakens, why mess with something that’s working?

Maybe Hollywood will become a complete sequel machine and platforms like Netflix will be the go-to places for originals. Or maybe original content will make a comeback at the box office and comic book film adaptations finally stop being cool. Who knows what will happen in the future.

Let’s just see what James Cameron has up his sleeve to topple Endgame after he’s done with his 23 sequels to Avatar.

Of The Many James Bonds We've Seen, Which Ones Would Likely Have An STI?

Better start mixing some antibiotics into those vodka martinis.

James Bond has been going around ordering vodka martinis, murdering baddies, and sleeping with beautiful women for over five decades and soon-to-be 25 films now.

It’s a pretty full on lifestyle to embrace and the effects of it all is bound to catch up to 007 at some point, particularly with the excessive amount of sexy forking he’s done over the years.

Since we’re all about important investigations here, we decided to look into the question of how likely Bond will have an STI given the amount of bedroom action that’s gone on.

Did he or didn’t he use a condom after this?

For the purposes of this investigation we’ve decided dive separately into each official Bond actor and gauge the likelihood of STIs for each incarnation of the character, used data from the UK since he’s British, and assumed that he didn’t use a condom since he’s definitely the type of irresponsible jerkass who wouldn’t bother with one and we definitely didn’t see Q give him in any of his gadget briefings.

Sean Connery

Over the course of six films, Connery’s Bond has had sex with a total of 15 women. Taking into account that the average number of female sexual partners for UK man in a lifetime is between three to nine, this means the Scottish 007 is batting well above average and is likely to to be riddled with chlamydia.

Chances of an STI – Very high.

Yes, you should definitely be worried.

George Lazenby

Aussie Bond was only around for one film but he got his rocks off quite a bit as he hooked up with three women over the course of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

That puts him on par with the average UK man in terms of sexual partners. While the risk of an STI is decent, he does fall in love with Tracy and the couple end up marrying (albeit very briefly).

Assuming that Bond actually bothered to get himself checked before tying the knot with arguably the only woman he loved, then he’s surprisingly in the clear here relatively speaking.

Chance of an STI: Low.

*Shudders*

Roger Moore

Hoo boy, this one is a doozy.

Moore Bond slept with a whopping 19 women over the course of seven films and several countries, making this 007 the sluttiest and grossest incarnation of the character in MI6 history.

No need to dig too deep into this one, he’s definitely a walking health hazard.

Chance of an STI: Absolutely riddled with STIs.

Nothing to smile about, champ.

Timothy Dalton

Dalton Bond was in just two films so he “only” got to sleep with four women, putting him in “average” territory here. But unlike Lazenby Bond, it’s unlikely Dalton Bond could be bothered to get himself checked or pick up a bunch of condoms so he’s playing with fire here.

Chance of an STI: Around average but definitely not inconsiderable.

Hey, it’s your own stupid fault for being irresponsible and not having safe sex.

Pierce Brosnan

Brosnan Bond had four films to himself and managed to sleep with 10 women in that time, putting him above average in terms of female partners.

It’s not on the level of Connery or Moore Bond but he’s wading into dangerous territory here. He also dropped the lamest pun ever uttered onscreen – “I thought Christmas only comes once a year” – which is just a rotten cherry on top of an STI-riddled cake.

Chances of an STI: High.

Worst. Bond. Pun. Ever.

Daniel Craig

Over the course of four films (so far), Craig Bond has managed to seduce six women into bed or the shower with him. Okay, seduce is probably too nice of a word given how gross his encounters with Sévérine and Lucia Sciarra were but that’s another story for another day.

We don’t know how much sexing he’ll get up to in Bond 25 just yet, but we’re hoping it’s a big fat zero because his current bedroom tally of six women without a condom just irresponsible. Hopefully he used some of his retirement time between Spectre and Bond 25 to see a doctor.

Chances of an STI: Pretty high.

It had better be a condom and some antibiotics.

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