Halloween is not be the biggest seasonal event here in Australia, but while we pass on the trick or treating, we generally embrace the Halloween parties.
Halloween brings out the candy, costumes and best parties of the season. However, with the good come the bad. Apparently some people just don’t understand social etiquette when it comes to dressing up and throw all sense out the window the moment October hits.
Thanks to Amazon it has never been easier to throw in the towel and just buy a terrible costume instead of getting creative at home. Many of the online options are either recycled versions of cliché costumes or a pop culture reference from the start of the year.
While some are OK to wear, there are some references and outfits that need to be recognised as inappropriate.
So for reference, we’ve put together a list of all the terrible costumes we are sure to see this season, though we wish we wouldn’t.
#1. Sexy Handmaid’s Tale
I shouldn’t have to explain why this is bad, but I do. Having a ‘sexy’ version of Handmaid’s Tale completely misses the point of the show, that not only is the outfit supposed to be drab, sexless and unattractive, but the women who wear them are constantly forced to have sex and give birth against their wishes.
This outfit is all kinds of wrong.
#2. Half Made Sexy Bowsette
The internet erupted when Bowsette was created, as social media was flooded with approval for the fan made character. It wasn’t long before she was all anyone was talking about on Twitter, spawning many (horny) comics, cosplays and fan art.
A well made costume like Mica’s gets a thumbs up, but just throwing on a black cocktail dress, pumps and some red lipstick isn’t going to get you over the line. Go all out or nothing.
#3. Sexy Meghan Markle’s Wedding Dress
Technically called a ‘Sexy American Princess’ by the creators, the outfit is clearly inspired by the Meghan Markle’s wedding dress from earlier this year. A tight and short dress is paired with a tiara and veil that resembles the new Duchess’ gown down to a tee, only, you know – sexualised.
The cherry on top however is the Deal or No Deal briefcase, referencing the period in which Meghan Markle was on the show as one of the women holding briefcases.
#4. Sexy Minion Costume
Why someone thought to sexualise the irritating children’s cartoon characters from Despicable Me is beyond me.
#5. Sexy Op-ed
The op-ed is supposed to be the one sent into the New York Times anonymously from someone working inside the Trump White House. Goes to show that Trump will sexualise anything.
#6. Instagram Influencer
Thanks to Urban Outfitters, you too could experience the lifestyle of a professional influencer. The entire ensemble is available from the store, even though all of these items can be found in most people’s wardrobe or gym bag.
The sports bra, hoodie and leggings don’t come cheap though, costing a total of $82.69 AUD. If you also want the shoes, hat, blond wig and sunglasses it will cost $215.83 AUD. Seem worth it?
#7. Fortnite/PUBG character
The socialite gamer who dresses up in cargo gear and fluorescent vest hoodies that will try and do the emote dances all night. It won’t be that annoying at first, but as the night wears on so do the dances and emotes. Until finally someone snaps at them for knocking over a coffee table of drinks doing the Orange Justice.
#8. Toad/Donald Trump’s Genitalia
Just before Bowsette hit the scene the last Mario scandal to hit on social media was when we discovered that, according to Stormy Daniels, Trump’s genitalia resembles the popular Nintendo character Toad. The comment soon went viral and no one has been able to look the poor guy in the eye since.
Someone out there is going to grab one of those plush hats from Zing, white pants and a blue vest and introduce themselves as Trump’s member to everyone at the party.
#9. Rubie’s Jurassic World Inflatable T-Rex
Sure this seems cool at first, but soon the lack of air and heat is going to get to you. Those little arms also aren’t going to be able to hold any food or drink and the tail is going to be stepped on more times than you can count over the night.
Eventually you are going to emerge out of the carcass of your $100 Amazon order a sweaty mess, with nothing but blurry memories from behind the mesh to remember.
#10. Black Face/Kanye
Not only is illegal to buy a MAGA hat in Australia, it is also a pretty dumb thing to wear. Why would we want to ‘Make America Great Again’ when we can’t even get Australia right? So those of you looking to dress up as Kanye this Halloween think twice about how dangerous a combination of black face and a Republican hat is.
Of course we could go on and on, but at the end of the day someone is going to make a costume so bad it was considered inconceivable. The lowest of the low will be out and about on Halloween, so try and ignore those who intend to offend and have some fun.