Bleats

Gamers Are About To Be Hit Bigly With Huge New Taxes Because Trump Chucked A Tanty

The entire games industry just got fragged.

Spare a thought for the gamers in your life, especially the Americans ones, because the US president has just indicated that he’s dragging them into his trade war. And after they’d done so much for him, especially in Fortnite team chat!

In a new and exhaustingly long list of things which the US will now impose tariffs upon are games and gaming consoles, whose prices will rise by an eyewatering 25 per cent under a new proposal from the Trump administration. That’ll show them pesky Chinese!

Well, it won’t because tariffs are paid by people doing the buying, not the selling – so it’ll show them, um, Americans that like games. Boom!

There’s already a tariff on consoles imported to the US from the European Union because Trump is nothing if not consistent about his love for tariffs.

But the timing is especially unfortunate for the American gamethusiast since the release dates for the new generation of Xbox and Playstation consoles are about to be announced.

And spoiler: they are not made in America using good, all-American knowhow, and will therefore be imported, complete with new tariffs.

And this is going to put the typical US fragmaster in a bind. Does he support uneconomic strategies which force him to pay a massive hike on the new consoles and games, or criticise the president that has made it absolutely OK to be racist, sexist and homophobic in public?

What a conundrum!

Of course, now that “gaming disorder” has been deemed a medical condition maybe this is as close as Trump is likely to come to enacting a public health measure.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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