This article discusses some plot points from Game Of Thrones Season 8 Episode 1.
For an episode that was mostly people walking around outside exchanging greetings and information, the return of Game Of Thrones was surprisingly eventful. Jon Snow, in particular, had a big day.
Arrived at Winterfell to introduce the family to his new girlfriend, reunited with his favourite sister (sorry Sansa, we still love and fear you), discovered another reason that maybe everyone shouldn’t have been so mean to him all these years, and nearly lost a testicle.
Oh wait, that was actually Kit Harington himself.
The real person who plays Jon Snow Aegon Targaryen Gon Snargaryow explains in a behind-the-scenes clip that while filming the scene where he rides a dragon through the mountains surrounding Winterfell, one of his crown jewels was “trapped” – he doesn’t explain where, but his costume has a lot of layers.
Kit Harington telling the story of when he first rode a cgi dragon #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/M6OdEbLLWw
— GoT cast doing things (@gotactivity) April 15, 2019
“My right ball got trapped,” he explains, reminding us that English people talking matter-of-factly about genitals is inherently hilarious.
“And I didn’t have time to say stop, and I was being swung around. In my head, I thought ‘This is how it ends. On this buck, swinging me round by my testicles. Literally.”
It’s not clear what Harington means by “this is how it ends”. His lifelong relationship with his right nut? His actual life?
But we can probably assume he’s talking about the show itself – where he met his wife, became a household name, got to be part of one of the biggest pop culture phenomena in history, and rode off into the sunset with a very nice paycheque. All wrapping up with an undignified ball-entrapment incident on a mechanical bull in front of a green screen.
So as you gird your loins for the final five episodes, let this lighten the mood occasionally: the thought that at any moment, under all those furs, the character you’re watching ride a horse or react in horror to a flaming swastika-octupus made of severed children’s limbs is also struggling with a hectic moose-knuckle.