Some vegans and vegetarians don’t eat meat because they just don’t like it. But some crave the juicy drip of a saucy burger, or the salty punch of perfectly cured pork products, but don’t eat them because they don’t think it’s right.
For them, there’s lab-grown meat, Quorn, pulled jackfruit, and now this:
This hunk of "ham" is actually a smoked watermelon. pic.twitter.com/noRwEpbxW2
— Thrillist (@Thrillist) February 4, 2019
Most recently promoted by a Queensland farmer who believes it could take off in meat-loving Australia, the melon ham was invented by a New York restaurant called Duck’s Eatery.
It’s peeled, smoked, brined, and then coated in spices and wood ash to create that hammy look. It takes nearly a week to make, and Duck’s charges US$75 for it.
The look of it is, actually, a little offputting: scored, crisp skin like a classic Chrissie lunch staple on the outside, being sliced to reveal dripping red flesh and white seeds. It’s like those hyper-realistic cakes made to look like other foods – asparagus on the outside, cake on the inside!
Personally, I think vegos who love delicious meat but don’t eat it out of principle are braver than the Marines, and they deserve delicious things to eat that aren’t just weird, fake versions of animal products.
“Ham” is just a way of describing a pig leg that’s been prepared in a particular way, so calling this a “watermelon ham” is fine with me. It’s not a lie, like “vegan pulled pork” “vegan egg” or “gluten-free bread”*.
“We’re simply doing the same things we’ve been doing to meats for thousands of years – but we do it to a melon,” said William Horowitz, the inventor of the thing, to Insider last year.
This smoked watermelon looks like a ham! ? pic.twitter.com/FcwuAWdFwK
— FOOD INSIDER (@InsiderFood) August 7, 2018
So if you want to pig out on the watermelon ham, for any reason at all, more power to you.
*Note: Coeliac disease is a very serious condition and it’s nice that coeliacs get to eat toast now if they really want to, but it tastes terrible, I’m sorry.