From breakfast television to current affairs programs, all the favourite shows of old people have been unified in one simple idea: video games are warping our kids’ minds, and nothing warps them faster and harder than Fortnite.
But Woman’s Day has broken ranks. One of the all-time heroes of pap fiction and every Nan’s favourite (when Australian Women’s Weekly is sold out) has pinned a Fortnite Battle Royale guide to its latest issue and no one knows quite how to handle it.
It’s right there on the cover, just below the latest fabricated royal pregnancy and folded over some ‘shock revelations’ about Julia Roberts and The Bachelor. The “Woman’s Day’s Ultimate Guide To Fortnite Battle Royale”.
50 game hints. Parent screen time tips. Prizes! Flip it open and you’re struck by a severe lack of sensationalism.
“Enjoyed by players of all ages, male and female alike.”
“Parents shouldn’t be concerned…”
What bizarro media landscape have we woken up to today?
That Woman’s Day is offering a more nuanced perspective on Fortnite than supposed ‘news’ programming is the biggest surprise since the fashion forward frock Bec Harding wore to the Randwick races! (Yes, I might have read a little of the magazine while I was doing my research what of it?)
Let’s stop and think of it uncharitably as nothing but a marketing ploy. The hottest game since Pokemon Go meets pester power – the kids have to have anything with Fortnite written on it. How can they skip this latest issue? And freaked out geeks wondering what is going on might even have bought a few issues.
Even if we say it’s just a grab for attention, and even if we say most typical buyers won’t even notice it’s there, it’s still a positive thing to see happen.
Woman’s Day Editor-in-Chief Fiona Connolly uses her column to flag that she’s not in touch with what her kids find cool anymore, and she’s more of an expert in making them cringe. If she busts out a Fortnite dance, the kids leave the room. But…
“We’ve got tips for the game for them, and more importantly, some sensible ideas for policing their screen time for you.”
What a winning combo! Delivering something that is both fun and useful? Everybody wins!
Those screen time tips are solid too. Set limits and don’t negotiate, offer binge days when they can play all day, and my favourite: set a good example in the way you use tech in front of the kids!
(In other words: parent your damn kids.)
Sadly, no tip that suggests it’s not a bad idea to actually sit down and participate in the things your kids love, but we can’t have it all.
The worst thing that happens is this goes in the bin. The best thing is that some parents learn to stop worrying for the sake of worrying and instead draw up some fresh guidelines for how they and their kids play games.
As for those game tips? There’s not much any current enthusiast wouldn’t already know. But… not gonna lie… I hadn’t realised metal is weaker than wood when it comes to withstanding bullets.
Thanks Woman’s Day. You’ve genuinely taught me something I didn’t know about Fortnite.
