If you missed it, very funny program that is incredibly clever, BBC Comedy’s QI announced that avocados weren’t vegan. Avocados and a number of other plants require bees to help them get their freak on so that we can eat their love fruits. (I know, hot).
But this time, it was QI that was mistaken.
It was such an obvious mistake too. With veganism finally taking root (get it? Because plants) all over the place you’d think they’d have an idea about veganism – even if they didn’t talk to the Vegan Society about it.
But of course they didn’t talk to the Vegan society about it because although they’re intelligent and talented, they’re still people.
People don’t like to talk to vegans about veganism. They’d rather talk at us about it.
And even better than that? They LOVE to tell us how we messed up.
Oh my word. If there was restaurant that served emotions, forget the giddy “As Per My Last Email” cocktail of frustration and politeness, the star dish on that menu would be schadenfreude in vegan coating.
Carnists love that. Can’t get enough of it. We don’t even NEED the Vegan Police anymore, we have carnists telling us how we can’t vegan properly. They announce these ‘cold hard facts’ like “yeah but you need bees to make vegetables”, as though it’s enough to sway me back to contributing to the deaths of millions of animals each year.
That’s not an exaggeration, in 2015 it was reported 500 million chickens were killed for meat purposes. That’s just the chickens. It doesn’t take into account the roughly 170 thousand cows a week that were killed that year, or anyone else who ended up on your plate.
This thing about avocados not being vegan is another desperate attempt to make veganism look impossible, moving hives is a common practice bees don’t need avocados like they need their own honey (also avocados aren’t a strictly vegan food so don’t make it a strictly vegan issue)
— Amy ⓥ (@amyythevegan) October 12, 2018
And I get it. I do. I can hear the anxiety as it closes your throat and makes your voice squeak as you say “But you can be a perfect vegan!”
Bless your cotton socks. Of course I can’t. This world we’ve built isn’t set up for me to succeed. But I’m going to give it a red hot go anyway. Just like anyone else trying to do something good, I’m going to try.
Despite the hype, I’m not here to ruin your dinner or your way of life. I just think that deep down, people have pretty low standards for themselves. Mostly that’s deserved, humans are pretty terrible. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t do better.
You, an intellectual: I just saw a viral article saying avocados aren’t vegan.
Me: Fair enough. I’ll stop eating avocados. Will you stop eating cows?
You: No. I just wanted to be a dick for some reason. pic.twitter.com/9Fwk7IrHsl
— Christopher Sebastian (@ThotsandPrayers) October 12, 2018
I’m not vegan to make you feel bad or because I don’t know how the world works. I’m vegan because I want to change how the world works so we don’t have to feel bad about the things we’ve done. My efforts are small, but I’m just hoping they’ll tip the balance just enough so we can have a better world.
So, don’t tell me I’m not vegan ‘enough’, when you’re not vegan at all. Don’t get in my way with your insincerity because it’s not a lack of protein making me tired, it’s people who would rather talk to me about avocados, than for a moment, face the impacts of their choices.