Cracking Avocado DNA To Make Cheap Guacamole Is The Most 'Strayan Science Ever

Hello hass for 43 cents.

Researchers from The University of Queensland are partaking in an international, yet intimate study of the Hass avocado. In science-speak, they’re “sequencing the genome.” Basically, what that means is they’re attempting to understand the beloved fruit’s DNA sequence. 

It’s an endearing visual: a bunch of scientists in lab coats prodding and poking at a bunch of avos – but that’s not really what we’re interested in. What we’re interested in is why they’re studying the avocados.

Surely there are more important things to be researched?

The short of it is that scientists want to understand the fruit’s genome better because it’ll allow producers to protect crops from diseases. 

That’s right – we, as a nation, may soon have an avocado abundance. Though here’s hoping that doesn’t lead to a bunch of unholy, weird inventions like the avocado infused chocolate bar.

Price drops are soon to be happening, dear friends, and I, for one, am keen as hell for the day I’m able to eat avocado for breakkie, lunch and tea. 

According to The Land, one of the researcher’s, Professor Mitter, even said: “there’s a huge potential for future crop improvement and breeding that we can now tap into.”

Lead avocado grower, Russel Delroy, also makes a case for a huge price drop. Last year, he told the ABC that he forecasts a drop to about $2 a kilo in the next 5 years, as opposed to the current $4.50 to $9 a kilo we’re currently paying. 

43 cents? I’ll take one hundred thanks.

Which, according to my calculations, means that in 4 years time you could be paying 43 cents for your average, 215-gram Hass avo. It’s big news, guys. Just imagine the amount of guac you’ll be able to make.

Unlike the news about ‘avozillas’ – the giant avocados being sold by Groves Grown Tropical Fruit in QLD – this news applies to everyone.

Originally, we were excited about the production of huge avocados, it was a story with a shock factor. Soon enough, however, we realised that most of us can’t afford them (they’re $9 a pop) and will probably never have the chance to eat them (they’re exclusive to QLD).

Giant avos? For QLD only? That’s un-Australian.

While this sciency news doesn’t have the same shock factor, it’s important for one particular reason. Scientists are yet to sequence the final genome of the fruit but when they do they’ll be able to provide Australia’s farmers with important avo-protecting information. That’s right, Aussie farmers may be seriously helped by this research and their avocado farming productivity could increase greatly.

And, really, amongst all of the struggles our country’s rural community faces, who doesn’t love a good win for our Aussie farmers? 

Apparently All Of Us With Tattoos Are Impulsive and Reckless, So Thanks For That, Canadian Researchers

If you got tattoos, you've also got issues!

Canadian economists have surveyed 1104 people with tattoos. The study, published by the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, was conducted because the researchers were interested in a paradox: despite the fact it’s been proven inked-up individuals are discriminated against in the workplace, tattoos remain a growing trend.

Tattoos? Who wants ’em anyway?

Oddly enough, the results don’t really tell us anything about why people like getting inked. Rather, the study seems to be geared at psychoanalysing or picking-apart the personalities of tattooed people.

The results: people with tattoos are not good at controlling their impulses.

We have the answer!

Which, to be fair, probably was the case that one time Ryan Gosling tried to tattoo himself.

It’s hard to see how the study tells us anything at all about the ‘rise’ in tatt popularity. Especially considering its biggest takeaway was that people with visible tattoos are more likely to be “shortsighted” and “reckless”, according to The Times.

Apparently the research process involved dishing out a questionnaire to tattooed people about their finances, health and social life.

I mean, I’m no scientist, but when a thing becomes a “trend” shouldn’t external forces be factored in, too?

Me, critically analysing this very critical study.

The more I get to learn about this study, the more I’m imagining it was conducted by someone’s ultra-conservative uncle.

Respondents to the survey were even asked to complete multiple tests specifically designed to measure their impulsivity. Which seems to imply that people get tattoos solely as an impulsive choice. Nevermind aesthetic value.

The Cognitive Reflection Test measured participant’s impulse control. A payment stimulation also determined whether respondents would hesitate to wait longer to receive a large cash payment as opposed to waiting for a shorter amount of time for a decreased amount of money.

The economists did find something though-they found that Australians are “marking milestones, commitments or life-chapters” by getting a tattoo. And to that I say: tell us something we don’t know.

Britney Spears Was Right, The Reason You Suck At Dating Is Because You Love Toxicity

I'm addicted to you don't you know that you're toxic.

A great, big lot of us find ourselves in toxic relationships that take us on an emotional rollercoaster ride.

“They were so toxic” are words we’ve either heard or used to describe an ex. Of course, there are situations where that’s true. Sometimes people are deeply troubled and the only solution is to just get the hell outta there and never look back.

Sometimes you just gotta peace out.

Here’s a hard truth though: sometimes people aren’t what’s toxic, pairings are. In fact, a branch of psychology coined ‘attachment theory’ explains how common, and even natural, it is to choose someone completely wrong for you.

But what usually ensues after a failed relationship is a whole bunch of finger-pointing. This tactic probably won’t help you understand what went so wrong. A failure to delve into the inner workings of the situation may actually leave you vulnerable to remain in a cycle of toxic relationships.

So if you, or a mate, has been in a particularly sh*tty relo it’s best to learn-up about this principle. It’s been researched and proven for decades. But also, keep in mind that your relationship status doesn’t define you, not one bit.

To avoid dating drama, here are three things worth knowing:

1. We All Have An Attachment Style

Neuroscientist, Amir Levine, states that just over 50% of the population have a secure attachment style, 25% are avoidantly attached and 21% have an anxious attachment style.

There’s also a small percentage of people both avoidantly and anxiously attached, this style is known as fearful-avoidant and it’s usually associated with unstable or unsafe upbringing. A person’s attachment mode is developed in childhood and is usually determined by one or both relationships with a caregiver. 

Securely attached individuals often have had a reliable upbringing where their emotional and physical needs are met consistently. Avoidants often haven’t had their needs adequately met. They may have had an emotionally distant parent, for example. Anxiously attached people have had their needs met at times and not met at others. Perhaps their caregiver suffered from hardship and fluctuated between being emotionally present and distant from their kid.

You can determine your attachment style here.

At this point you should be feeling very seen.

2. Your Attachment Style Determines How You Behave In Relationships 

Securely attached individuals are often more ‘flexible’ and less critical than people who are anxiously or avoidantly attached. Generally, they’re much better at communicating their emotions and picking up on their partner’s feelings. Basically, they learnt how to because they had a healthy, well-connected relationship with their caregiver.

Avoidantly attached individuals are often the type to ‘play down’ the importance of relationships. They may be that super “independent” friend or the “heartbreaker” mate who never gets too involved. They’re often not good at discussing their feelings because they weren’t exactly taught how. Often, they’ve learnt to be so autonomous they tend to find their partners “clingy” or too “demanding” of their time, attention of affection.

Anxiously attached individuals are quite the opposite, they find themselves craving deep intimacy in their relationships. They may often worry about their partner’s level of commitment to them. Which is all due to the fact that at some stage during their upbringing, they felt they could not rely on their caregiver to be there for them. They may come across as “clingy” but this behaviour often stems from a wound. 

Realising you are defs one of these.

3. Anxious And Avoidant Styles Gravitate Towards Each Another And Often Create A Toxic Pair

There’s the catch, dear friends. Have you ever been in a relationship so passionate but so horribly unstable? The chances are that one of you was anxiously attached while the other was avoidant. This dynamic creates a push-pull and oftentimes, an on and off again scenario. 

Neither parties may be particularly good at discussing their needs and feelings in a healthy way. Which isn’t to be judged. Both partners may have never seen such behaviour modelled in childhood and therefore never learnt how to do it themselves.

In this pairing, the anxiously attached person often feels unsatisfied and less loved because their partner isn’t very good at all the mushy stuff, AKA showing their feelings. In turn, the avoidant may often find their partner overbearing, too needy or demanding of their time. These styles are often very attracted to each other. Each desires in the other what they unconsciously feel they’re lacking. The anxious see strength and independence and the avoidant sees an emotional side and vulnerability. 

A completely normal reaction to this tea.

Of all people, Britney Spears really summed it up with the lyrics: “I’m addicted to you don’t you know that you’re toxic.” The good thing is, like any addiction, you can break the cycle of toxic relationships. Perhaps you’ve just taken the first step.  

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