Over the last week women have been sharing what they imagine they would do if all men had a 9pm curfew, and the answers are bleak. It’s 2018 and women are merely dreaming of having the privilege to go outside alone at night without being plagued by fear.
Writer, trans woman and civil rights activist Daniella Muscato posed the question to women online, with the request that men “read the replies and pay attention.”
Ladies, a question for you:
"What would you do if all men had a 9pm curfew?"
Dudes: Read the replies and pay attention.#metoo #Kavanaugh #Cosby #feminism #maleprivilege #privilege
— Danielle Muscato (@DanielleMuscato) September 25, 2018
The waves of responses to the curfew thought experiment are basically all variations of the same thing: women just want to exist without fear. It’s that simple.
While we have large-scale objectives for the future of gender equality that spans everything from eradicating workplace discrimination to gaining the reproduction rights we are entitled to worldwide, women are still fighting for this basic freedom.
My answer to this is genuinely that I’d walk my dogs alone without worrying. The amount of answers that are basically ‘exist at night without fear’ makes me rage
— Rowan Wilkie ? (@Rowan_Wilkie) September 30, 2018
I’d take a walk on campus(!) by myself(!!) while listening to music(!!!). Wouldn’t even have to worry about the sound of footsteps behind me, what a concept
— Haley? (@haley_lando) October 1, 2018
Sometimes it makes me furious to think that a lot of men’s ‘greatest fear’ is something like sharks or heights. Things that are improbable and avoidable. But for women, our fears are based off very real risk, and we exert an overwhelming amount of mental and physical energy, every day, to protect ourselves.
For women, we’ve seen the stats on assault, and most of us have held a friend’s hands through trauma if not experienced it ourself already. We see the victim blaming play out consistently in the public discourse, reminding us that it is our responsibility to protect ourselves from the world. We do not get to exist without being conscious of danger.
I’d go for a walk or take the subway at night without watching to see if anyone is following me while also trying not to look paranoid so I don’t look like an easy target. I’d stop being afraid that the locks on my doors and windows won’t be enough.
— Bec (@becsayz) October 1, 2018
Walk home at night without fear. Sleep with my windows open in the summertime (ground floor flat). Go for a run in the moonlight.
— Bianca Westwood (@beewestwood) October 1, 2018
While the conversation in the last week has mostly focused on the experience of women, we know that the reliance on self-surveillance for survival is not exclusive to women. Race and disability, for example, can similarly render people vulnerable.
Meanwhile, at the top of the privilege pyramid we have this group of heterosexual cisgender white men, who still need to be reminded of the freedoms that they take for granted.
I’m a white guy who regularly visits other countries by himself, walking city streets after midnight while listening to music on my headphones while not speaking the language. Never even occurred to me that this was a gender privilege.
— Dr. Beagleman ?️? (@DrBeagleman1) September 26, 2018
I believe, at the very least, men owe us the simple act of being informed on how exhausting and all-encompassing it is to exist as a woman. We have been explaining this for hundreds of years so there is no excuse for anyone to be shocked that woman are scared, all the time.
This SNL musical skit, ‘Welcome To Hell’ pretty much sums it up.
If women had a 9pm curfew, men wouldn’t do anything differently, and I hope someday women can say the same for the reverse. Because dreaming of being able to go outside alone is f**king depressing.