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It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

Moby And Natalie Portman's Non-Relationship Is Uncomfortable But Not Unfamiliar

Hot tip: if the person you used to date didn't think you were dating, you weren't dating them.

Moby has just released the second volume in his autobiographical series and has attracted much interest with the hitherto-unknown tales of his short-lived relationship with Natalie Portman, back when she was 20 and he was 33. They went to parties, they kissed under oak trees, but after a few weeks she distanced herself and the great love story was not to be.

And this tale of celebrity love came as a bit of a surprise to everyone, including Natalie Portman.

She wasn’t aware that she was in a relationship with Richard Hall. She does, however, remember a musician in his thirties creeping on her when she was just 18, though.

“I was surprised to hear that he characterised the very short time that I knew him as dating because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. “He was on tour and I was working, shooting a film, so we only hung out a handful of times before I realised that this was an older man who was interested in me in a way that felt inappropriate.”

Let’s face it, she’s no stranger to sex pests.

And Lordy, this isn’t uncommon with older men looking to up their stats regarding their sexual awesomeness. In fact, it isn’t even uncommon in the book – Lizzy Grant, aka Lana Del Rey, also refutes Moby’s claim that they dated.

Moby took this well. Sorry, I mean he decided to tell her that no, she was the one who was mistaken – about a great many things.

Oh, where to start?

Seeing Moby boasting – even in a self-deprecating way – about how dope he was about pulling gorgeous young women, especially young artists who would have been flattered by the attention of an established figure like himself – reeks of hideous insecurity mixed with a toxic entitlement.

But most of all, who the hell tells someone that they’re wrong about whether or not you were in a relationship?

Especially when everyone’s going to look at the debate and go “say, who has more cause to buillshit in this situation – the fading musician boasting about pulling young hotties, or the established actor who was barely an adult at the time?”

Apologise and move on, dude. Seems like you’ve already creeped her out plenty.