Bleats

It's Time To Face That More Than One Aussie Woman Is Killed Each Week

Today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.

November 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. It’s a day started by the United Nations General Assembly, and it aims to take on the challenge of exactly what it says – end violence against women and girls all over the world.

In Australia, the often quoted statistic is that one woman every week dies violently.

As I’m writing, our death toll for the year stands at 64 women and 24 kids – and the year isn’t done yet. That number is already up from last year’s count of 63 women, again, far more than one a week.

It’s not just Australia, sadly. Here are some global stats:

One in every three women and girls will be the victim of physical or sexual violence. Most of the time, the perpetrator is that woman’s partner. 

Only 52% of married women get to make their own choices about contraceptives and sexual health. Speaking of marriage, almost 750 million women and girls in the world today were married before they turned 18. 

An adolescent girl is murdered somewhere in the world every 10 mins. 

In the USA, up to 70% of women have lived through physical or sexual violence, meaning that more women have been abused than not. 

If I’ve had to yell it one, I’ve had to yell it a million times: women deserve better. The most dangerous thing in our lives shouldn’t be the fact that we’re women, but here we are.

It’s hard to look at the progress being made, but I do try. I know it can feel like one of those problems that seems to be too big to ever be solved, but I promise there is progress

Work is being done across the globe to end things like female genital mutilation, child marriage, and pulling girls out of school because of their gender. Every small win means a better future for girls, and that’s worth noticing.

Ending violence against women is a massive challenge, but it’s one that I like to hope is possible. Not just in Australia, but globally.

R. Kelly's Girlfriend Risks Her Life To Detail The Abuse She's Suffered

The new claims are shocking.

Joycelyn Savage, one of R. Kelly’s live in girlfriends, has spoken out about the abuse she suffered while living with the singer. She’s said that she’s “risking her life” and breaking non-disclosure agreements in order to tell her story, but that she should’ve told it a long time ago.

Joycelyn, who’s 24 now, has started posting her story on Pateron – beginning with meeting R. Kelly when she was 19. She talks about how he gave her gifts and spent money on her, all the while promising her a music career of her own. 

Pretty soon, he started “giving [her] commands” to call him Master or Daddy. She alleges that once she accidentally called him ‘babe’ instead of Master or Daddy. She says “he grabbed me and choked me until I blacked out.”

She talks about how she was manipulated and controlled in every aspect of her life. 

“Robert likes to manipulate whoever he’s was in the room with even down to his own assistant. He didn’t care, everyone was in it for a check so they didn’t care either.”

“I can say I didn’t have any type of privacy at all now that I think of it. If I showered one of his assistant would have to be by the door while I shower.”

Joycelyn has been referred to by a lot of outlets as R. Kelly’s “sex slave” before, and she says she was pretty much used for sex or as a “punching bag”. She also says that “I’ve been peed on numerous of times. I really didn’t want to say this but the truth needs to be heard.”

Joycelyn even writes about an abortion she was forced to get outside of a medical centre in 2016. “I realized I was pregnant by this monster. Eventually, I ended up getting an abortion I was forced to get the surgery done at his house.”

Credit: Antonio Perez/Chicago Tribune/TNS/ABACAPRESS.COM.

Currently, R. Kelly is locked up in a Chicago prison. His lawyer is denying everything on his behalf.

If this story has raised any concerns for you, both 1800 RESPECT and Lifeline 13 11 14 are available 24/7.

FFS, How Have We Not Stopped Blaming Women For Their Own Murders Yet?

“You can’t consent to your own murder.”

Grace Millane was an English backpacker in New Zealand, when she was strangled to death in a hotel room, and her body was buried in a suitcase west of Auckland. She’d been out on a Tinder date with the 27 year old man accused of her murder.

Grace died on December 1st 2018, and the man accused of killing her is currently on trial. Instead of focussing on justice for Grace, one line seems to have stuck out in the reporting surrounding the trial – the defense says that Grace’s death was an accident during “violent sex.”

If you Google Grace Millane’s name, a lot of the headlines focus on her interest in BDSM. 

There’s “Friends of Grace Millane give evidence about her BDSM interests”, and “Grace Millane ‘naive’ when messaging in online BDSM communities”, and “Grace Millane was member of BDSM dating sites and asked ex-partner to choke her during sex, court hears”, and “Grace Millane murder trial: Alcohol ‘a likely factor in backpacker’s death‘”.

Do you know how often people having consentual sex accidentally choke one of the partners to death? Almost never. Prosecutor Brian Dickey made the point that it’s “incredibly rare”, and has actually never happened before in New Zealand. He also pointed out, “you can’t consent to your own murder.”

Who cares what Grace was or wasn’t into? Her sex life shouldn’t be the big talking point in her case, the point is that she’s died violently at the hands of someone and was then buried in a suitcase. 

Using this tidbit of information to effectively blame Grace Millane for her own death is exhausting to watch, and incredibly disappointing, but really – not that surprising. 

The court has also heard that the man accused of killing her didn’t act like it was an accident after she’d died. He allegedly wasn’t panicking, but instead was “was cool, calm, in control” while he went and bought a suitcase, and even organised another Tinder date while her dead body was still in the hotel room with him.

But I haven’t seen any headlines about that.

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