In what has to be the gravest portent of doom for the Coalition ahead of the election, iconic Adelaide bootsmiths RM Williams have announced that they are up for sale.
Why is this significant? Because RM Williams boots are de rigueur for any serious conservative politician.
Scott Morrison wears them each day. Tony Abbott boasted that most of his frontbench wore them, in a line which was probably not intended to make clear that he only promoted blokes to the ministry. Barnaby Joyce is more boot than man.
Malcolm Turnbull and Kevin Rudd both used them to burnish their rural credentials, with… um, mixed results.
Canberra fashion report: RM Williams for outgoing US ambassador Jeff Bleich and PM-elect Tony Abbott meeting pic.twitter.com/eg1FBnNt8e
— Alex Ellinghausen (@ellinghausen) September 12, 2013
How else can you say that sure, I’m wearing an expensive suit but deep in my heart I’m actually Clancy of the Overflow?
The RM is a subtle yet powerful way to signal to the constituent “I work in the city, sure, but in my heart and feet I’m truly a man of the land.” And it’s the only item of clothing that can do that day in day out.
The Akubra can only realistically be worn outdoors by politicians – and it is, shamelessly. Most of the time, at least…
PM Scott Morrison hits the Outback trail shunning the trademark Akubrahttps://t.co/iM2ChMJsZF pic.twitter.com/52kH0080xk
— The Daily Telegraph (@dailytelegraph) August 27, 2018
The Drizabone is hard to pull off in parliament, although it’s amazing Bob Katter hasn’t done so.
But the shiny RM Williams boot? That pairs perfectly with a hi-vis vest and yet can still be worn in the Qantas Club.
After all, they sum up the conservative politician dream perfectly. Indeed, some unrecognised genius once called them “a working man’s shoe at a fancy man’s price” for the way they suggested a rough and tumble life on the land while still retailing for $400+ a pair.
DPM Barnaby Joyce gets the water out of his prized RM Williams, via @DanConifer pic.twitter.com/ZWiTiup8GW
— Henry Belot (@Henry_Belot) May 24, 2017
So what will conservative pollies do if the brand ends up 100 per cent foreign owned? Well, realistically, it’s thongs or Dunlop Volleys from here on in.
It’s that, or Blundstones. Hey, if they want to win Tasmania, the choice is clear…