Look, this might be controversial but there’s no getting around it: Eurovision is less fun now that there’s an Australian entry.
We used to be able to make arbitrary favourites based on the usual Eurovision metrics – who’s got the whitest pants, which song packs in the most unnecessary key changes, ‘splosions – but now we have to feel uncomfortably invested in whoever ends up carrying the traditional wattle-handled wombat banner on our behalf, despite their song almost certainly being a bit crap.
And now Finland have announced that they’ll be represented by no less a personage than Darude. Yes, that ‘Sandstorm’ fellow.
Finland’s got form for bringing its A-game to Eurovision, though. Who could forget the 2006 competition winning Lordi, aka the heavy metal band who were all orcs? No-one with a heart, that’s who.
“It’s the a-rock-alypse.” Yep, still magical.
In any case, this means that Australia’s job has just got harder. And it also means that whoever ends up representing us had better factor in one hell of a bass drop, just to keep up.