Bleats

Apparently Your Fave Childhood Snack Is Jameela Jamil's Hottest Red Carpet Accessory

Nominee for Outstanding Use of Purse

There are only three things that you need when attending television’s night of nights, according to The Good Place star Jameela Jamil.

When asked to reveal her clutch’s contents on the red (well, purple) carpet, the first two – lipstick and phone – seemed pretty par for the course. The final item, however, was a little weirder.

Credit: Twitter

Yep, it turns out that the one thing that Jameela is hoping will prevent her from “punching a celebrity in the face out of hunger” is a pack of cheese strings, AKA shrink-wrapped lunchbox nostalgia.

Cheese strings are a schoolyard classic, and every kid had them – unless you were lactose intolerant, or were boujee enough for Babybel. Chances are you’ve either fought a fellow student over the dairy delight, or had a piece hurled at you during recess shenanigans.

Credit: Giphy

It’s no wonder that Jameela was prepared enough to bring a hangriness-buster – this actual legend turned up to the Emmys despite being dogged by gastritis, even getting hooked up to an IV to make it there. The sickness has caught up with her though, so she sadly won’t make it on stage when The Good Place wins Outstanding Comedy Series. Which is a matter of if and not when – I said what I said!

Credit: Giphy

Jameela Jamil has been proving herself to be an icon ever since she debuted in her breakout role as Tahani in The Good Place. She has also been busy using her platform to outclass trolls and bring attention to the body shaming habits of the tabloids.

She posts airbrush-free photos to Instagram, and is more than happy to get into a Twitter feud in defense of herself and other women.

For a star who’s been on the cover of dozens of magazines, Jameela is surprisingly down to earth. Whether it’s eating stringy cheese at an awards ceremony, or mistakenly curling her hair with a sex toy, she is truly a relatable queen.

Remember McFly? They're Giving Us The Noughties Boy Band Reunion No One Asked For

Go back to 2009, and stay there.

For nearly a decade, they’ve lain dormant. But with a cryptic GIF posted to their social media accounts, McFly have announced an end to their slumber (in the form of an Instagram live). The fans have gone wild – could this mean new music? A tour? But it’s time to look past the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia and ignore the hype beast, because the vibes of the 00s are well and truly over.

The boy bands of the noughties were charming, but in a pop-punk way. McFly had the whole package – grating vocals, hard-hitting electric guitar riffs, percussion that could probably blow up your headphones. Despite the romantic themes, you’d be hard pressed to describe their style as sweet and syrupy. Groups like 5ive and Busted were stylistic similar, churning out rock-like anthems rather than chill grooves.

However, the world has changed a lot in the time since the McFly era – we’ve left the cocoon of youthful innocence. There’s already enough yelling happening all the time, and the sweetness of modern pop is the perfect escape. It’s great to be able to throw on some Westlife to remind yourself of a better time, but the new generation of boy bands are serenaders of a different kind.

Compare the early 00s hits to those of One Direction, or the softboi revolution that is BTS. See what I mean? Still catchy, but way more mellow than their predecessors.

The worst possible outcome here is for McFly to fall into the same trap that so many before them have – too much synth. Fall Out Boy did it, and Panic! At The Disco did too, relying on the popularity of electronica and leaving their old, punk rock ways behind. It’s not like the new stuff is objectively bad, it’s just disappointing for the fans who have been with them since the beginning.

If McFly go down the modern Top 40 route, they might regain commercial success, but run the risk of alienating most of their audience. Then again, given that most of that audience have long since left their teenage rebellion behind, they’re probably not the best market to capture.

Boy bands like McFly have been cited as influences for groups that are far more recognisable to the modern youth. One Direction, 5SOS and The Vamps have all paid homage to them. The best case scenario is that they come out of the other side of this mysterious announcement with their legacy intact.

And to any of the other noughties boy bands considering a reunion – just don’t. Everyone will remember you more fondly if you just grow old gracefully.

An Egg Addiction Is Legit Revealing Cracks In This Couple's Relationship

They're really walking on eggshells.

A partner’s bad habits can test even the most secure relationship, so it’s no wonder that this anonymous man decided to look to Reddit for advice. Having half the Internet weighing in kind of complicates things more, but it’s just too juicy to avoid commenting on (the opportunity to make puns notwithstanding).

It sounds completely ridiculous, but it’s also just the right amount of weird to be believable. If watching hours of My Strange Addiction has taught me anything, it’s that anything is possible when it comes to the weirdness of the human brain. Or is this dude somehow dating a chicken and just didn’t notice?

I’ve been known to rag on egg consumers before, and this much snacking is definitely out of control, but the wildest part is actually that the aforementioned girlfriend reckons her BF is being ‘controlling’ by intervening.

Most of the commentators are on his side, (though some have rightly pointed out that his lack of understanding of how a washing machine works is hardly her fault), but if she has an actual disorder then he should probably be a little less blasé about it. After all, your loved one’s health is a bit more important than some yolky pants.

There are some very real concerns here if she’s eating up to 15 eggs on a daily basis – namely, her likely insane cholesterol levels. Although the body has been proven to regulate cholesterol perfectly well under a three-egg scenario, “no studies have fed people more than three eggs per day.”

She could try some other method of consumption than ‘whole’.

This woman has been significantly outdone, however, by an elderly man documented to be eating 25 eggs a day whose “general health was excellent”. Not that that’s a reason to hold off on staging an intervention.

The whole saga has reminded everyone of a similar story about a relationship drama involving Iranian yoghurt, that was memed to death earlier this year. The gentleman in question was hoarding rare yoghurts from obscure parts of the world, which were of course going sour, putting his girlfriend in a sticky (and probably quite stinky) situation. Though at least he wasn’t eating them.

Addiction is a terrible thing, friends.

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