The first photos from the live-action Kim Possible movie arrived and it seems we all missed a glaring problem.
On first viewing the photos, the Internet had some thoughts on the matter because it’s the Internet. Not all of those thoughts were kind because…. It’s the Internet.
THIS is the girl that's suppose to throw hands with shego and win? https://t.co/pKD4oSOeiw
— evan ? (@beyonseh) July 21, 2018
https://twitter.com/themiabrown/status/1022275517838446593
THIS is our kim possible https://t.co/Y1KNGr2dHd
— coffee bae? (@iamsashakae) July 23, 2018
And yes, Madelaine Petsch (Riverdale‘s Cheryl Blossom) would likely make for an exceptional Kim Possible. She’s awesome. But given we live in a world where Aunt May and Tony Stark are played by people the same age, I think it’s nice to see an actual teenager, Sadie Stanley, playing the role of a teenager.
Everyone seems to be missing the true travesty in this though and that’s Kim’s pants.
All this focus on a lack of sass and appearing-to-be-to-your-twenties and cropped turtlenecks, when the real story is in the pockets. Or not in the pockets – because there are none because they missed out a canonically crucial part of Kim Possible’s character and that’s her cargo pants.
The first photo of Sadie Stanley as the live-action #KimPossible in the upcoming @DisneyChannel Original Movie is here! Take a look: https://t.co/5X5Lbm9gX7 pic.twitter.com/zyD8jAV3HX
— Oh My Disney (@OhMyDisney) July 21, 2018
Look at what they’re giving us in their place. What is this two-ply looking, three -quarter length, no-pocket-having, leg holster as an afterthought, mess of a thing?
I’ll tell you what it is: it’s cute and looks like fun to wear. But what it’s not is practical. Where is Kim keeping all the things she needs to do her job?
Not in the cargo pants with pockets that she used to have, apparently. She’ll have to make do with that drop leg holster that’s going to start falling down the moment she starts walking, unless she attaches it so tightly that she wants to cut off circulation, which I assume would be detrimental to any mission’s progress. They need to attach it to the belt – that, to their credit, looks sturdy. In fact, a belt that sturdy could probably, say, hold a few more pouches.
And while this may all seem like my usual griping about things not being [extremely fangirl voice] canon, it IS important.
We live in a country where only just recently girls could now officially wear shorts to school. We’re in a reality where our TV shows and movies regularly do not show lady characters dressed in practical clothing to do their jobs. It’s so entrenched that we had people losing their minds over She-Ra wearing pants.
Meanwhile we have plenty of dude characters out there who are famous for their utility belts, pockets and pouches and if creators dared change those aspects there’d be hell to pay (not sure how it would be paid, certainly not with the change in my non-existent pockets). Deadpool and Cable have pouches…. And occasionally there’s a Hello Kitty backpack.
Batman has his utility belt; Iron Man is just a hi-tech, full-body utility belt. Even Joker has pockets, but Harley doesn’t.
Of course there are plenty of pocketless heroes along the gender spectrum. But Kim Possible was never one of them.
Kim needed pockets to do her job. Her love of fashion didn’t get in the way of her wearing practical clothing.
Hell, even her eveningwear had effortless stealth capability.
So it’s disappointing that a new legion of Kim Possible fans won’t get to see that in the live-action version.
Look, it’s hard to get too angry. We’re getting a Kim Possible movie, with the female lead wearing boots she will be able to walk in.
And at least, despite the pants not being in any way canon or serviceable as appropriate spywear, they did us the courtesy of not bothering with putting vanity pockets on them. My heart could not take the sight of a sewed on sham of holding on any pants that Kim Possible wears.
PREACH.