Bleats

Guy Completely Cooks It At Online Dating, Makes His Own App Instead

And still he only matches with bots.

Look, online dating is a tough gig these days. After wading through the many, many dating apps that are out there (before settling on Tinder like everyone else), you then have to make a detailed profile that includes a bunch of well-lit photos of yourself.

After that, you then have to swipe through countless profiles while hoping the app’s algorithm takes pity on you and pushes you to the forefront of people’s phones. Online dating is meant to be fun, not a chore.

So in an attempt to game the online dating world, a 30-something bloke by the name of Aaron Smith decided to save himself a heap of trouble and heartache by making his own dating app called “Singularity.”

It works just like Tinder in that you swipe left for a no and swipe right for a yes. There is a catch with Singularity though: the only profile on the app is Smith’s.

With the help of a software engineer friend and a heap of pent-up frustration over trying to find love via online dating, Smith decided to make Singularity as a way to vent while also having a laugh.

The joke is clear from the onset as the app asks your social security number to login, as well as a secondary login option via an “Okay fine” button. Hell, the “Privacy” policy is literally just the link to the music video for ‘Every Breath You Take.’

But there’s also a hint of seriousness with Singularity as the app bypasses the infinite scrolling you find on Tinder in favour of an ending card with Smith’s contact info and the line, “Yes, this is a joke. But what if it isn’t?”

Chatting to CNET, Smith says he’s had a few Facebook friend requests through Singularity but it isn’t going to stop him from using Bumble. That being said, he says he met his last serious girlfriend through Tinder so he’s more than open to meeting someone through his (semi) joke app.

The biggest of props to Smith for thinking outside the box when it comes to online dating. It certainly isn’t easy and here’s hoping he finds someone, whether it’s through Singularity or some other app. And hey, everyone got a good laugh out of this at the very least so it’s a win-win as far as we’re concerned.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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