While Tinder is a maze of men with fish and unsolicited dick picks, Tudder is a far more wholesome place to find companionship. Unfortunately you can’t add Tudder to the line up of dating apps available to help you hook up or find love or whatever it is you’re after, because Tudder is for cows.
The UK dating app launched recently and already has tens of thousands of profiles of cattle in need of mates, listing their age, location and owner alongside a picture. You swipe right for yes, and left for no, just like Tinder, except the app makes a mooing sound as you swipe.
Farmers even advertise for group dates with multiple cows for the right, right-swiped bull.
While Tudder bases its advertising around the idea of uniting farm animals with their ‘soulmates’, it is functionally an app designed by Hectare Agritech to facilitate farmers in the breeding process.
In order for cows to produce milk they need to give birth to a calf, so dairy farmers rely on finding breeding matches to keep their business going.
Without online match-making services, organising the breeding process takes substantially more time and effort. A Welsh farmer confirmed that apps like Tudder and SellMyLivestock make his life much easier.
“Going to market is a nuisance,” Marcus Lampard told Bloomberg. “If I go to an open market with a bull, and then maybe bring it back, it shuts everything down on the farm for at least two weeks.’’
Since dating apps have successfully infiltrating the cattle industry, Hectare’s CEO Doug Bairner believes its onwards and upwards from there.
“Matching breeding livestock online should be even easier than matching people,” told Bloomberg. “Sheep breeding is similarly data driven so maybe ‘ewe-Harmony’ should be next.”
Now it’s only a matter of time before the cattle-specific dating apps fill up with mirror selfies and the cows long for the good old days of meeting bulls IRL.