Bleats

Turns Out Defending Yourself Against An Armed Criminal With A Coffee Jar Is A Really Bad Idea

A classic case of gun vs jar - we've all been there.

An Australian man has decided to defend himself against an armed carjacker by using a jar of instant coffee. 

Jason, 48, was on a ciggie and coffee run on Tuesday night at a service station in Frankston, Victoria, according to 7 News. When he approached his Mercedes Benz after the purchase, a stranger appeared, pointing a gun at his face. 

Now, you’d think Jason would have just dropped everything and made no sudden movements- but what does he do?

He steps back and, according to 7 News, says: “No, you’re not getting my keys.” Big, bold and very risky, to say the least.

You just shouldn’t f**k with guns, guys.

Apparently Jason then kicked the man and hit him over the head with his jar of coffee. The perpetrator responded by whacking him on the head with his firearm. A classic case of coffee jar vs gun. We’ve all been there.

Keep in mind, this life-risking situation was all for a pack of ciggies, Nescafe Blend 43 and a fancy car.

It all has me wondering: why is it that some people respond so passively in crisis situations while others go full-on turbo, taking on an armed man with nothing but instant coffee?

Jason, after all, did say: “I think most people probably should hand the keys over, but I’m sort of not one of those people.” 

Jason, but make it Mean Girls.

Most people think they have what it takes to survive a crisis, according to disaster expert Anie Kalayjian, who says that, in reality, most of us actually panic to some degree and are far more excitable than what we envision. That image you have of yourself being cool, calm and collected in a situation of danger? Probably inaccurate.

Kalayjian also states that people who place an emphasis on material items may not fare well in times of trouble. You’re actually less likely to panic if your purpose and meaning in life is more than your worldly possessions- you’re less likely to be concerned about material loss. 

Perhaps that’s the takeaway here: your life is far more important than risking a potentially fatal gunshot wound.

The attacker, reported to have been wearing ear warmers (an interesting choice for a criminal), eventually left the scene with nothing but Jason’s pack of ciggies. Really, it just doesn’t get more Australian than that. 

“Didn’t get the Benz, boys, but check out these durries!”

Pop-up Channel

Follow Us