Bleats

Don't Believe The Facebook Posts Claiming Climate Strike Protesters Left A Huge Mess

Another scare campaign built on a foundation of nothing. Great.

Thousands upon thousands of fired-up people around Australia banded together on September 20 as part of an absolutely ginormous worldwide rally – dubbed the “Global Climate Strike” – to protest environmental inaction and all the politicians who are dawdling on the issue.

It was powerful, inspirational and it also gave us some brilliant protest signs that’ll make you laugh while reviving your hope in humanity.

But as the universe is wont to do when it comes to positive acts like the Global Climate Strike, there are some angry, agenda-pushing folk out there who are trying to ruin it for everyone.

Following the rally that took place in Sydney, where around 80,000 people crammed into the Domain, a Facebook group called the Australian Youth Coal Coalition sought to stir the pot by falsely claiming that Climate Strike protesters left an ungodly mess in Hyde Park after everyone had gone home.

The Facebook post spread like wildfire when it was posted and quickly garnered thousands of shares, comments and reactions.

However, don’t believe a single thing about that post because it’s all fake.

Based on old posts, the group is likely nothing more than a satirical thing. As for the viral post itself, the photo was actually taken back in April 2019 during an annual, unofficial marijuana event in London. To be fair, the photo was taken in Hyde Park – just not Sydney’s one.

Aside from the fact that a quick Google reverse image search will debunk the post immediately, it appears the Australian Youth Coal Coalition didn’t realise the photo has been used numerous times for so many scare campaigns that it’s essentially a stock image for “messy park” at this point.

But maybe that’s the point of it all.

But rather than own up to the false claim, the Australian Youth Coal Coalition doubled down and posted a follow up photo of a green lawn with no identifying features and claiming that a group of “young coal supporters” volunteered to clean up the fake mess left by the Climate Strike protesters.

A Facebook group named the Australian Youth Coal Coalition trying to smear protesters rallying against environmental inaction. Surely it has to be a parody thing as we seriously can’t imagine why they would lie about about something like the Climate Strike.

Fair effort to them for trying to keep up the facade/joke despite having more holes in it than a wheel of Swiss cheese.

So if you see this fake Facebook post about Sydney or similar ones making the rounds, don’t get suckered into the (supposed) joke.

Climate change is most definitely real and the Global Climate Strike was a monumental event that will hopefully result in some meaningful action before it’s too late.

Scott Morrison Uses His Roast To Finally Acknowledge The Engadine Maccas Incident

Hats off to Scotty for even bringing it up in the first place.

Here’s the big question Australia’s been asking for months but has yet to receive an answer: Did Scott Morrison shat himself at Engadine Maccas after the Cronulla Sharks lost the grand final in 1997?

Well folks, the PM has finally acknowledged the incident in public for the first time and, well, it was something at least.

Scotty made reference to underwear-filling rumours during his speech at the Press Gallery’s Midwinter Ball – aka the annual politician roast for charity – saying since the event is now officially (it’s historically been a behind closed doors thing) on the record we’ll never know what really happened at Engadine Maccas on that fateful night in 1997.

To quote ol’ mate himself: “It will remain the mystery of the ages.

Okay. Well, it’s not quite the “yes, I totally crapped my dacks at Engadine Maccas” answer everyone has been hoping for but let’s read between the lines here, shall we?

Scotty doesn’t exactly confirm the rumours with that little reference and there’s no reason why he would. However, by acknowledging the turd-filled underwear rumours, he’s also kind of telling everyone “I’m not saying it’s true but I’m also not saying it’s not true.”

Having said that, ol’ mate Scott Morrison’s Engadine Maccas reference was overshadowed by Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese’s comment on the rumour:

Credit: Paul Karp/Twitter

As for the rest of the event, well apparently nothing came close to Scotty and Albo’s Engadine Maccas references. On the upside though, it is reported that the Midwinter Ball raised $340,000 for charity, $10,200 of which came from some person who wanted to sink a beer with Scotty.

But hey, having Scott Morrison acknowledge that Engadine Maccas rumour in some capacity for charity (and to win some goodwill) is something no one expected so let’s just take it for what it’s worth for now.

100 Vats Of Bull Jizz Exploding On An Aussie Farm Is The New 30-50 Feral Hogs

That's a whole lotta bull.

A lot of weird stuff happens in Australia but it’s going to be hard to top this one: a cattle storage facility in Victoria went up in flames, causing 100 cryogenic cylinders of bull jizz to explode and subsequently give birth to the new 30-50 feral hogs meme.

According to ABC News, fire services were called at around 3am to Yarram Herd Service after reports of a blaze and it took 10 fire crews over two hours to fully contain the ungodly combination of flame and bull jizz.

The firefighters didn’t have quite an easy time of it in the struggle against all this bovine spoof as the pressurised cylinders used to store this jizz all exploded due to the heat of the fire, which caused the bull juice inside to “rapidly” expand.

In the words of Country Fire Authority Gippsland commander, Chris Loeschenkohl,”the lids of the cryogenic cylinders were just popping off the top and projectiles were being thrown from the building,” which forced firefighters to go into full “Neo dodging bullets” defensive mode due to an onslaught of bull jizz propelled cannisters and the LPG cylinders on the neighbouring property.

Accurate recreation of the scene.

It’s not just the firefighters – and cleaners – you should feel sorry for in this whole saga. It is estimated that each cylinder of bull jizz is worth between $500 to $1,000 (which means a total of $50,000 to $100,000 was lost in the blaze) which is a decent chunk of change, especially for the farmers struggling with Australia’s never ending drought.

But hey, let’s try and look on the bright side, at least we now have an Aussie equivalent of the 30-50 feral hogs meme. Next time someone asks what would hypothetically happen when 100 vats of bull jizz meets fire, we have a definitive answer for them.

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