We’re well and truly on our way towards the holiday season, people. This means a couple of things:
- You need to start thinking about presents (that you’ll inevitably leave to the last minute and then substitute for an ASOS voucher).
- You need to prepare to spend a stupid amount of money.
Because the gift-giving experience is a universal one that we can all relate to, I thought I’d combine a list of potential pressies as suggested by one of Hollywood’s most relatable celebs – Gwyneth Paltrow.
The Goop leading lady (well her website team, rather) has compiled a selection of potential gifts for hosts, lovers, kids, travellers, cooks, men (I guess they can’t be any of those other things) and wellness junkies. She’s also thrown in a few “ridiculous but awesome” options, pressies for “the one who has everything” and “under $100” options.
And before you ask, yes. Yes, the list is as extreme as you’re expecting it to be.
Let’s take a peek, shall we?
- A culinary tour through Spain:
For the reasonable (read colossal) price of USD 12,000 per person (or about AUD $17,850 you can book a 10-day tour through Spain where you’ll dine on what I assume is gold. Airfare, insurance, and gratuities are not included. - Gold handcuffs:
Okay, so if you’re interested in getting a pair of handcuffs for your special someone – or yourself, even – that’s completely cool. But gold ones that cost $425 (about AUD $640)? Really? - Crystal-infused water bottle:
This $80 (or AUD $120) water bottle has been fitted with a large smoky quartz crystal that’s intended to “ward off negative energies”. That’s all well and good, but I think having $100 more in my bank account would be better for my vibes.
- Chrome smartrope:
Forget old-school skipping ropes. Keep up, people! We’re now using smart ropes made of chrome that monitor your performance and count calories. This guy is $80 (AUD $120) and totally sounds like something you need. - Essential eyebrow grooming kit:
In the traveller gift guide, Goop has included an eyebrow grooming kit. Not the worst idea, actually. Except that this brow brush, scissor and tweezer pack costs $225 (AUD $338). How? I’m not sure. - Reserve a seat to space:
I mean, you’d win a lot of points with this one. It’ll cost you $250,000 (AUD $370, 765), though. - Fancy Connect Four:
If you don’t want to play the regular, plastic game like a pleb, go for the marble version. It’ll set you back $1,495 (AUD $2,240) but it’ll look impressive.
I don’t know about you, but I’m really hoping I find a trip to space under my tree this year.