In case you missed it, last night Chris Pratt announced that he’s engaged to his girlfriend Katherine Schwarzenegger (Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter). He made the news public when he shared a photo on Instagram of the pair canoodling ft. a big fat ring, captioned,
“Sweet Katherine, so happy you said yes! I’m thrilled to be marrying you. Proud to live boldly in faith with you. Here we go! ??♥️,”
Now, to each their own, but a lot of us find the engagement pretty jarring as we’re still recovering from the break up of crowd favourite celebrity couple Chris Pratt and Anna Faris. Ten years ago Pratt and Faris were getting married and everything was good. In August 2017 they announced their separation, and everything was bad. It is very simple.
And yet, Anna Faris responded to the engagement post by simply commenting:
“I’m so happy for you both!! Congratulations!,”
Damn. You go girl.
There’s a lot we can learn from Anna Faris’s eloquent public comment on the engagement, so let’s dig in a little to the life lessons latent in her response.
#1. Punctuation Is Crucial
Who is going to believe that you are happy that your ex-husband to whom your divorce was finalised merely four months ago in October 2018 is engaged to get married to some new chick if you don’t use exclamation points!!!
#2. Be Polite In Public
Be petty in private.
#3. Withhold The Desire To Cut A B***h
I’m happy for Katherine and all, kinda, I guess, but her comment about the engagement on her own Instagram feels pointed.
“My sweet love. Wouldn’t want to live this life with anyone but you,” she wrote.
Maybe I’m reading into things! Maybe NOT. I don’t know how Anna Faris resisted the urge to dropkick her publicly (probably to protect their son from a dramatic family relationship blah blah blah), but she’s a better person than most of us.
#4. Make Your Own Narrative
If Anna Faris didn’t make any public comment, everyone would have assumed that she’s openly bitter like the rest of us. But alas, she is either fine or much better at hiding it than me. I’m devastated and angry.
#5. Save Face
Usually no life lessons would revolve around any ‘requirement’ to be in a relationship and we’re all about ‘thank u, next’ing our way through. However, Anna Faris having her own boyfriend, Michael Barret, really makes the whole ex-husband getting engaged a little less sour. Also not using phrases like: “Proud to live boldly in faith with you” helps.
#6.
Our concluding life lesson is simply: Be More Like Anna Faris. But also maybe egg Chris Pratt’s house and run away really fast because we’re hella bitter and just can’t fight it.