Bleats

Chris Evans Says He Never Actually Wanted To Be The Perfect Nice-Guy Captain America We All Froth Over

OH CAPTAIN, OUR CAPTAIN.

It’s tough to imagine the MCU without Chris Evans as Captain America.

His sweetness. His good-natured catching up to 21st-century culture. His perfect fugitive beard and the perfect chin beneath it.

But in a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Evans says he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it at first – because Cap is too boring even for him.

“There’s no real darkness to him,” he thought to himself. “How do I make this guy someone you want to watch?

“I don’t get jokes. I’m not Wolverine. I don’t have dead parents, like Batman. I’m just, like, ‘Hi, I’ll walk your dog. I’ll help you move.’”

In fact, he said no, twice. The studio offered a nine-film deal and then a six-film deal – and he rejected both.

“You see the pictures, and you see the costumes, and it’s cool. But I’d now woken up the day after saying no and felt good, twice.”

Steve is a leftover from when superheroes were supposed to be pure and noble, and the only jokes they got were occasional puns while punching Nazis.

But the MCU was launched by a bad boy playing a bad boy with snark to spare, in a definitively modern take on the superhero movie.

Steve Rodgers, on the other hand, is literally as old as your granddad. He’s a man chosen as the American super-soldier specifically because he is the most noble and perfect man Stanley Tucci has ever met. He’s a virgin who can’t drive.

Steve Rogers could have been a painfully dull figurehead for the whole Cinematic Universe. But somehow the nicest and most wholesome Chris managed to turn a man without any flaws – except maybe caring too much and being too noble – into a watchable, charming hero you never once want to punch in the face.

It’s partially because he seems like he’s really, actually that nice IRL. His mega-thoughtful, politically sassy Twitter presence, far from being a liability for cautious Disney, is actually an asset for Marvel.

“I’d be disappointed in myself if I didn’t speak up,” he says. “Especially for fear of some monetary repercussion or career damage — that just feels really gross to me.”

“I see it as very astute, very honorable, very noble, very Cap-like,” Marvel honcho Kevin Feige told THR. “Commentary and questioning.

“I’ve said to him, ‘You’re merging! You and the character are merging!’”

(Also: RDJ also says Evans is the funniest person in the Avengers cast groupchat. Let the existence of that thread haunt your fan fantasies.)

So think of this when Cap (maybe, probably, oh god please let this be a misdirect) shuffles off this Marvel coil at the end of Endgame. It will be devastating – but if Evans hadn’t decided to take on the challenge, we never would have had this scene where he rips a log in half like he’s about to do to our hearts.

And remember that in many ways, we still have our IRL Cap wandering around Hollywood, calling out injustice.

Such a nice boy. Who needs darkness when you have a conscience AND arms like this?

Captain Marvel's Rad 90s Setting Deserved A Less Basic Girl-Power Soundtrack

I've had it up to here.

Discussion of plot points from Captain Marvel below, so fair warning if you haven’t seen it yet.

Even before she smashed through a massive box-office record, Captain Marvel wasn’t short on power. Earth’s mightiest hero has an origin story full of awesome moments, from stealing a sexist prat’s motorbike to the climactic montage of every time she’s refused to let the bastards keep her down.

It’s also full of fun 90s flashbacks, from VHS-spotting in a Blockbuster Video storefront and PJ Harvey gig posters on a wall behind a phone booth, to, well, an actual phone booth.

But in a couple of key scenes, a gratingly obvious song choice comes dangerously close to spoiling the moment, and brings home how the soundtrack is one of the few aspects of Captain Marvel that feels like a massive missed opportunity.

No shade if you loved the s**t out of the Big Fight Scene soundtracked by No Doubt’s ‘Just A Girl’ – great scene, great song, absolutely top-shelf punching.

But for this MCU fangirl and many others, it was way too on-the-nose. Get it? Because she’s not just a girl? 

Soundtracking that scene with the 1995 smash sandblasted off the irony that drips from Gwen Stefani’s snarky lyrics. It reminded me of that scene from Shrek where the (other) big green guy wastes Lord Farquaad’s mooks in the arena to the sound of ‘Bad Reputation’.

And when Carol’s second visit to the Supreme Intelligence is set to ‘Come As You Are’, it wasn’t just a groanworthy nod to grunge – it made absolutely zero sense in-universe either.

Nirvana were around before Carol went off-world in 1989, but that song is on Nevermind, which came out in 1991, so it wouldn’t hold any meaning for her and there’d be no reason for the Supreme Intelligence to chuck it on the psychic turntable. (Even if it was just trying to create a mood surely it would know, also, that Kurt Cobain was a raging feminist rather than a gatekeeping grunge bro, and that ominous guitar wouldn’t intimidate Carol one bit, and that some PJ Harvey would do the trick just as well.)

Soundtracks haven’t been a big part of the MCU movies so far, with one notable exception: the Guardians Of The Galaxy films, with their frozen-in-time space-road-trip mixtapes that actually top charts in real life.  

Now, Iron Man has an obvious affinity for Black Sabbath as well as AC/DC, and lord knows Thor: Ragnarok earned that rare Led Zeppelin signoff when it used ‘Immigrant Song’ during both the trailer and its final battle. The MCU has form when it comes to a blindingly obvious backing track.

But these films also aren’t averse to going a little more niche, either – Ant-Man’s best sequence is probably the fight inside a tumbling briefcase as a giant iPod plays The Cure’s ‘Plainsong’.

And those cleverly curated Guardians “mixes” put less-famous Bowie songs and dated soft rock alongside all-time greats and novelty hits: accessible, fun, meaningful, but not always the obvious choice.

Captain Marvel also included brilliant women-led songs probably less familiar to mainstream 2019 audiences, like Elastica’s ‘Connection’ and Garbage’s ‘Only Happy When It Rains’ – but having its biggest moments overshadowed by overexposed hits, instead of using a forgotten gem to create a unique moment, is a wasted opportunity on two levels.

Carol loved music in her pre-Kree life: she owned Guns N Roses shirts, dressed as Janis Joplin for Halloween, sang Lita Ford’s ‘Kiss Me Deadly’ at karaoke; the first time we see Maria she’s chilling to Des’ree’s ‘You Gotta Be’, and later they unwind to REM.

It would have been amazing for the music of 1989 and 1995 to play a role in Carol’s reclamation of her old life, rather than just using hit songs as a big neon sign saying “HEY EVERYONE, REMEMBER THE 90S? ALSO, FEMINISM!”

And a brilliant soundtrack, one mixing familiar throwbacks with less mainstream female-fronted tracks you haven’t heard a million times, could have been the ultimate 90s shoutout. From Romeo & Juliet to Clueless, a soundtrack CD so good on its own you thrash it to splinters is one of the most 90s things I can think of.

But Captain Marvel doesn’t need to be everything to everyone in her very first outing. She’ll be around for a long time, even after Endgame – so there’s loads of time to give her big moments the soundtrack she truly deserves.

A Footy Team Is Being Roasted For Their Hilariously Ugly Avengers-Inspired Uniforms

Worst. Cosplay. Ever.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is a place where the impossible happens. There are planets made of Kurt Russell, a WWE wrestler is somehow a good actor, and Bradley Cooper is more attractive as a raccoon (well, not a raccoon) than as a human being.

Yet nowhere in this vast expanse could we find anyone who thought this jersey was a good idea.

 

Yup, that’s a Thor-cosplay footy jumper. No, those aren’t pokéballs.

It’s a natural fit in terms of ~corporate synergy~ for the Western Bulldogs, whose home ground is Marvel Stadium, and whose most famous fan is Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth.

But it’s like the marketing department looked at the positive reaction to Hemsworth in a Dogs jumper, loved that, and thought, “What if we did the exact opposite?”

It’s the best-worst marketing tie-in jersey since the Hawks’ Power Rangers themed jersey in 2015-2016:

It’s not like superhero jumpers are inherently a bad idea! Look at the Captain Marvel training jerseys worn by the Bulldogs’ AFLW team:

Those are RAD. Higher, further, faster, way way better. (Just like their respective first movies, am I right?)

And the AFLW and Captain Marvel are both pioneering new additions to a male-dominated arena – so it feels a little less like a blatant corporate tie-in, even though that’s exactly what it is.

And the design just works better, whereas the Thor one looks like a Kmart doona cover your well-meaning auntie buys you for Christmas even though you’re 22.

Anyway, it’s going to be especially embarrassing when the AFL’s real superhero, Lance Franklin, kicks six goals against the Bulldogs in Round 1, and every headline reads: ‘Dogs Thor after being hammered by Swans’.

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