In some news that I certainly didn’t expect to report today, Hollywood star and the face behind Thanos, Josh Brolin, has decided to jump on the “perineum sunning” bandwagon.
For those who are unaware, “perineum sunning” is a nicer name for “butthole sunbathing” and involves dropping your dacks, spread-eagling it like a starfish and aiming your undercarriage at the sun in hopes of getting a tan on your taint.
If that sounds stupid, well that’s because it is. And painful.
Anyway, Josh Brolin is the latest to subscribe to this dumb “wellness” trend and judging by his response on Instagram, it went as well as you’d expect.
In an admittedly-hilarious post, the actor “tried this perineum sunning” he’d been hearing about and his conclusion is “DO NOT do it” because his “pucker hold is crazy burned.” Rather than spending the day “shopping with [his] family,” he’s “icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.”
While the question of why Brolin even bothered to try this dumb “perineum sunning” thing remains unanswered, he did have some strong words for the one who started this trend, writing “I don’t know who the f**k thought of this stupid s**t but f**k you nonetheless. Seriously.”
Credit to Brolin for painting quite the vivid image of his sunburned butthole using the power of an Instagram caption. It was like toilet-humour poetry of the highest order.
But as hilarious and weird as this whole “Josh Brolin burned his arsehole using the power of UV rays” is, best take his TMI Instagram post with a grain of lubricated salt because the actor is known for posting random offbeat stuff from time to time.
Perhaps he, like the rest of us, just wanted to make fun of this “perenium sunning” thing from that viral post courtesy of some “healer” influencer named Metaphysical Meagan, who claims sunbathing your butthole is based on an ancient Taoist practise and will strengthen your organs, increase creativity, and increase your libido among many other positive benefits.
Or perhaps Josh Brolin did indeed chug a heap of sunlight through his butthole and is now finding out the hard – and painful way – that advice from a wellness influencer on Instagram isn’t the best source of information related to your health needs.
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