I’ve had a week to process the first trailer for Cats and I still don’t know what the hell “digital fur technology” is and what to make of the film.
Here I am thinking it’s just me and my tired, uncultured brain that doesn’t know enough about the iconic musical. But, it turns out I’m not alone in my struggle because even Idris Elba, total hunk-daddy and star of Cats, doesn’t know what the movie is about.
Speaking to Stephen Colbert on Monday night’s The Late Show, Idris was asked to explain the plot of the film. His face says it all:
His explanation (if you can call it that) is equally as desperate. Let’s count how many times he says “Cat Heaven” shall we?
“It’s a classic. It’s a big musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. I guess it’s about a cat? How am I doing? […] It’s one cat’s journey towards what is essentially Cat Heaven. The idea is we all… you know, we aspire to get towards Cat Heaven. It’s this young cat… and she gets sort of… you know… taken on this story about how to get to Cat Heaven. Or what you should do to get into Cat Heaven. How am I doing? Does anyone know what the story is?!”
Let’s be real though, no matter how many times Idris fumbles over Cats-related questions, no matter how hopeless we think he is, no matter how confused we are by the human-cat hybrids, no matter how crappy we think it looks (and it looks pretty damn crappy), we’re still going to watch it.
We all have this unspoken and undying fascination with terrible movies. Some of the most popular movies in the world are notoriously terrible.
Twilight, 50 Shades Of Grey, Maid In Manhattan, any RomCom ever made, the live-action Lion King: all of these movies certifiably suck and yet we not only watched them but have definitely rewatched them at some point in our lives.
Why? Because we want to validate our own pre-conceptions of them. If we assume they’re going to be disappointing, are they actually? Why are they disappointing? Surely they have one redeeming quality?
There’s a morbid curiosity when it comes to crappy movies. And we’re all masochists apparently, willingly inflicting mind-numbing pain on ourselves by watching them.
I don’t know about you, but I ain’t stopping any time soon. See you in the cinema.