Bleats

Endgame Spared Captain America His Comic Book Drug Nightmare

Didn't he already get trapped in ice once?

Captain America’s arc came to a largely satisfying conclusion with Avengers: Endgame, with Steve Rogers using the science-magic of the quantum realm to time travel back many decades and live out his life with his beloved Peggy.

But it did mean that we can only wonder how the MCU would have dealt with some of his other comic plotlines, like when he was an agent for Hydra, and that time he was hooked on ice.

Did… did he not think to just say no?

Yes, you read that right. Captain America had a meth problem in the comics.

The run of comics in which this little-loved piece of drugs-are-bad finger-wagging occurred was in Captain America issues #373 to 378, back in the innocent pre-Breaking Bad world of 1990.

You might want to strap in because this is a ride.

So: Fabian Stankowicz decided that he wanted to destroy the Avengers for… um, reasons? And used his technical nous to create a mighty robot body and fight them as The Mechano-Marauder.

Iron Man kicked his shiny metal ass, thus setting the precedent of him being beaten by everyone: Spider-Man, Thing, Black Widow, Wasp, She-Hulk, and David Letterman.

Yes, that David Letterman. He hit him over the head with an oversized door handle, apparently. As I said, it was a ride.

Anyway: Fabes then changed his allegiance to the goodies and reinvented himself as Mechanaut, who also sucked and didn’t get to join the Avengers. However, he was offered a staff job helping upgrade things for the real heroes who couldn’t be beaten by middle-aged TV hosts – but the pressure got to much for him and he started using meth.

After sending him to rehab Captain America went to the meth lab where Fabian’s dealers were operating, which then blew up (so you know, a touch of reality there at least).

But the fumes from the drug got to him, giving him a mighty surge of adrenalin, and after that he was jonesin’ for another fix.

That’s how we know you have a problem, Cap.

And readers of the comic knew that he was spiralling into addiction because he had stubble.

After passing out with a hallucination that he was getting the super-solider serum again, which is obviously GOOD DRUGS AND NOT BAD DRUGS IT’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DON’T EVEN SUGGEST THAT THERE’S A PARALLEL, he awoke in Hank “Ant Man” Pym’s lab having undergone a complete drug transfusion like he’s Keith Richards or something.

And while this cured his addiction (note: that doesn’t cure addiction) it also robbed him of his superpowers. For a couple of issues, at least, once Marvel realised that comic book fans didn’t hunger to read “Steve Rogers: Claims Adjuster”.

Anyway, the important bit here is that Captain America was on meth. Which is ridiculous: surely of all of the Avengers, he’d be the one most acutely aware of the dangers of ice?

Badoom-tish!

The Story Of How Marvel Cast Simu Liu As Shang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu, Is A Fanboy Dream

He's a master of tweet-fu.

You know how many actors like to airily insist that no, they had no idea about this comics thing until they were cast, others – like Samuel L. Jackson, for example – are total fanboys who all but forced themselves into the Marvel Cinematic Universe?

Another such is the Canadian actor Simu Liu, who will be the lead in Marvel’s 2021’s Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings.

So much so that he did that thing you always dreamed of and just tweeted at Marvel that hell, he should totally get the part. And then he did.

That was in December 2018. And then, the following July, he added the following comment:

And it’s a huge deal, being the first Marvel film with an Asian lead. But it’s not like Liu was some complete unknown, or that his life doesn’t already sound magical.

And damn, the man is nimble!

His family immigrated to Ontario from China when he was five and he worked as an accountant until he was sacked, at which point he thought “eh, might try acting” which worked out pretty well – roles in Fresh Off The Boat, Orphan Black and Bad Blood before becoming a star on Kim’s Convenience.

And after his tweet put him on the radar, and his manager on alert, things moved along with gathering speed. He auditioned for the role on a Sunday. He then had Kim’s Convenience shooting on Monday. And then, as he related to ET Canada,

“It’s about 6:19 p.m. Tuesday and lo and behold, I’m in my underwear eating shrimp crackers and there’s an unknown number from Burbank, California. Now I know Disney Studios is in Burbank so my heart’s thumping out of my chest and I jump and am like ‘Hello!’ and it’s the divine voice of Kevin Feige. I’ll never forget it, it’s so calm, it’s so booming. He’s like, ‘Simu, hi. We’d like you to play Shang-Chi. Also, we need you go to Comic-Con in four days.’”

If that sounds insanely quick then yes, it was. As he said on stage at said Comic-Con: “I feel like I was kind of this social experiment: let’s just take this guy, an ordinary guy, living in Toronto. Let’s tell him he’s going to be in the next Marvel movie and give him four days to prep for it.”

Mind you, given the history of people who were cast and then blabbed (or, in the tragic case of Dane Cook, auditioned to be Captain America and then blew whatever chance he had by excitedly Tweeting about it) maybe not giving him a chance to reveal spoilers was a strong idea.

Still: Marvel have their Shang-Chi, and I’m going to tweet at them about how a bearded, middle-aged Australian with zero acting ability would be a bold choice for the next Jean Grey. See you on the red carpet!

Joining The Dots To Why Fans Think Troye Sivan Is Headed Back To The MCU

Let your conspiracy theories fly!

Look, we love a juicy and completely unsubstantiated rumour as much as any Marvel obsessive, but when a Redditor made the claim that Troye Sivan might be heading for a role in the MCU we went “really?”

And then we thought about it and… look, let’s speculate a bit here.

The specific claim made is that a Marvel screen test is coming, potentially for the role of Wiccan from the New Avengers comics.

The reason this seems plausible, aside from the fact that he’d be an excellent physical choice, is that Wiccan is the son of Scarlet Witch and Vision – the central characters of the coming WandaVision Disney+ series.

And sure, season one would be all but complete by now but presumably they’re assuming that interest in Marvel will continue in 2020, what with Endgame being the biggest film of all time and everything.

And it would make sense for an artist whose coming out video all but broke YouTube to play one of Marvel’s few openly gay characters. And from a purely Marvel-perspective, having a muta… I mean, “enhanced” character that’s not actually an X-man has licensing advantages while prepping the soil for a possible Disney-led reunification of the Fox-owned X-men and the MCU.

But there’s another reason why Mr Sivan seems like a decent bet, and it’s because he’s already an alumnus of the franchise.

Because in case you forgot, our Troye’s already been in the Marvelverse. Specifically, he was young version of the titular character in X-Men Origins Wolverine.

It’s a strong look.

And if you’re thinking “pfft, he can’t be Scarlet Witch’s son since she’s about eight years older than him and Vision is dead” then rest assured that his origin story is as magical and weird and hand-wavy as any Marvel hero.

Of course, to emphasise, an MCU return for Troye Sivan is nothing but pure baseless conjecture at this point. But let’s be clear: we’re already on board

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