The latest culinary controversy dividing Australia goes straight to the core of our national character – more than the potato scallops vs potato cakes debate or the question of how much Vegemite is the right amount. It’s about our true national dish: the sausage on bread, the sizzle in its purest form, the Bunnings snag.
It emerged this week that Bunnings has recommended to its sausage sizzle operators – who are largely local school and community groups fundraising off the backs of Australia’s hungry home handypersons – that BBQ’d onions, if desired, should be placed more securely between the sausage and the bread, instead of on top of the snag, as loose onions are a slipping risk.
Australians are, naturally, outraged.
Bunnings sell bubble wrap right? Lets go buy rolls of this to cover ourselves with. FFS this is beyond madness now. Why dont we serve the sauce frozen in cups cause that might fall out too. Another great example of why Australia is so messed up.
— Grumbles (@Grumbly_Me) November 13, 2018
At first I thought it might be April the 1st.. but no. So I’m just going to swear. What the fuck is going on in this country? Soon we’ll all have to wear high viz vests in the Bunnings car park. https://t.co/BfGPpiZkK5
— Julian Abbott (@JulianBAbbott) November 13, 2018
Those Australians are wrong. So are the (at time of writing) 60% of people voting for onions-on-top in this highly scientific poll.
Seeing a lot of opinions on the correct order of sausage/onion on bread on the back of the Bunnings story (https://t.co/xke1fb48qg) so lay your BBQ preference on me
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) November 13, 2018
A simple, juicy beef sausage, charred in little crispy patches and striped with sauce, nestled in a delicious layer of sweet, cooked-down onions, all cradled in a slice of soft white Home Brand bread, perfectly spread out so that you get all those flavours in every bite, like a bogan burrito?
Or a sausage plonked naked on that same plain slice of bread, a clump of onion dropped artlessly on top and hogging the sauce, sliding off the snag the second you angle the pointy end of the crust into your mouth?
I know which sounds better to me.
Just because something has always been done a particular way, doesn’t mean it cannot be improved upon.
Whether there is in fact a silent epidemic of Bunnings customers being injured by slipping on dropped bits of glossy caramelised onion has not been established. But who are we to question Bunnings’ desire to keep its beloved customers safe from errant alliums?
It’s clear the home improvement juggernaut cares about your safety AND your tastebuds. Truly, lowest prices ARE just the beginning.