As the UK government fights among itself about which Brexit deal they refuse to agree upon in order to achieve an end which no-one seems to think is a good idea anymore, the looming deadline has created a nation of paranoid doomsday preppers.
Specifically, the members of the cabinet.
The senior ministry have agreed that 3500 armed forces personnel be deployed on standby for likely “disruption”, while advice would be issued to all UK businesses on preparing for the government to fail to negotiate any deal at all, and be encouraged to “begin implementing their own contingency plans as they saw fit.”
“Ah.”
Of course, given that no-one seems to be entirely clear on what the outcome of a no-deal Brexit will be, making those contingency plans might be a tiny bit difficult.
Mind you, they’ve just hired 90 people to man a Brexit EU emergency crisis centre – so hey, it’s already creating new jobs!
“Cabinet agreed that with just over three months from our exit from the EU, we have now reached the point where we need to ramp up these preparations,” the government explained in a press release.
“This means we will now set in motion the remaining elements of our no-deal plans.” Which is exciting progress, because thus far they’ve only seemingly achieved the “yelling at each other and achieving nothing” bit of the strategy.
“Tick!”
Among the plans? Reserving space on all UK ferries for food and medicine. Seriously. Why wasn’t “we’ll need to hoard supplies!” painted on the side of one of those pro-Brexit buses before the referendum?
In any case, the rest of the world is just sitting back and watching the planet’s fifth largest national economy Thelma and Louise itself off a cliff with a mix of fascination and horror.
“NOOOOOO DEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLLL!”
In any case here’s hoping that there are still non-European-based printers available to them because they’re going to need a metric crapload of those KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON posters
Also, apropos of nothing, how quickly can we become a republic? After all, if they can’t successfully prevent their own nation accelerating toward that precipice…