Bleats

If You Want To Date Brad Pitt, All You Have To Do Is Be A Very Attractive Genius, Apparently

Yet another unrealistic beauty-and-distinguished-academic-career standard for women to live up to.

The good news is, you can be a huge nerd and still date a movie star. The bad news is, you still have to look like a movie star.

First, international law superstar and real good hair haver Amal Clooney locks down George Clooney. Now his good mate Brad Pitt is reportedly dating Dr Neri Oxman, an architect, designer and inventor who’s an associate professor at the Massachusetts Institute Of Technology, has been the subject of a WIRED profile and once collaborated with Bjork.

Cool. Cool.

Dr Neri Oxman makes beautiful things I don’t understand out of materials I’ve never heard of, like this mask.

“What?”

Her work’s in MoMA and the Smithsonian. She invented an entire field of study and design theory (Material Ecology, which “considers computation, fabrication, and the material itself as inseparable dimensions of design”).

And she looks like an Israeli Keri Russell.

OH COME ON.

Look, I’m not mad that a man whose name has been the universal benchmark for handsomeness for twenty-five years is reportedly interested in a woman with a distinguished career outside entertainment. That’s good news for nerds!

And nobody’s expecting George Clooney and Brad Pitt to settle down with women who aren’t both conventionally attractive and interesting to talk to. I mean, this guy?

This guy.

THIS guy.

THIS GUY.

But now it’s not enough to have Disney princess hair and legs that go all the way down to the ground. Now you have to have a goddamn PhD or six.

 

“Sure you’ve got the looks, but have you got a doctorate in groundbreaking design and fabrication theory?”

But of course, poor Dr Neri Oxman is now being featured on Us Weekly and People, not to mention followed around Massachusetts by the paps, as the rumours about her high-profile paramour pick up steam.

She’s even been given the Daily Mail treatment now, with the home of the Sidebar Of Shame babbling that she “stepped out” looking “like a photocopy” of Angelina Jolie because she’s…wearing black and carrying a bag.

 

(She was also carrying a copy of the Voyager gold record, though, so the Fail had to explain to its readers what that is, which is inexplicably funny to me.)

As much as I’m sure Dr Neri Oxman doesn’t really want to be harassed at work and have gossip rags buying photos of her getting coffee on campus and publishing them with headlines screaming about how DEVASTATED NERI LOOKS HAGGARD AS ANGIE [DOES SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRELATED], Amal Clooney’s cleverly managed to parlay her sexually transmitted profile boost into a platform for her incredibly important work.

Perhaps Dr Neri Oxman can do the same for whatever the heck Material Ecology is.

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