At a lovely wedding a few years ago, I witnessed a speech in which the father of the bride mused on how he always wondered if she would be “one of life’s shelf girls”. As in, left on the shelf.
Being several wines deep by that point, and on the last table to be served dinner, I’m a little fuzzy on the exact phrasing, but that term – and the looks my friends and I shot one another as we buried our faces in our glasses of pinot gris – will haunt me forever.
“Shelf girl”.
If you’re feeling like one of life’s shelf people, don’t lose hope! My friend (who, to be clear, is a goddess – she just has standards) found her person, and so did one lonely book that had been languishing in a British bookshop for 27 years.
I have just sold a book that we have had in stock since May 1991. We always knew its day would come.
— Broadhursts Bookshop (@BroadhurstBooks) November 17, 2018
The tweet from an unassuming archaeologist and part-time Broadhurst bookseller went viral, with 126,000 faves and counting. The 700+ replies are a wholesome mix of retail veterans sharing similar tales of long-lingering stock items (and roasting Piers Morgan), and people who were extremely happy for the book itself now that it had finally found its forever home.
I worked at a bookshop that had a copy of Piers Morgan's autobiography. I worked there 2 different times in 4 years, and we never sold it, even when it was reduced to 1p! It's probably still there.
— Robs (@captainrobs) November 17, 2018
We had a book called ‘The Larger Moths of Warwickshire’ in stock for ten years. I was quite sad when someone bought it.
— Tamsin Rosewell ????? (@autumnrosewell) November 17, 2018
The book held its breath. It had hoped so often, only to have that hope crushed. Hands lifted it from the shelf, wrapped it warmly in paper. As the door closed on its past life, the book heard the soft cheers of its shelfmates.
— Sarah Todd Taylor (@scraphamster) November 17, 2018
https://twitter.com/BeckieofBubbles/status/1064156345321046016
The volume in question was a biography of William The Conqueror written for kids, priced at 99p.
Understandable, perhaps, that it’s not the kind of book that sells out on the regular. But hey, not being in high demand just means you’re a niche interest, for people of refined taste who will truly appreciate you.
Maybe there’s a seven-year-old history buff who is going to be absolutely stoked when she opens up her present from Uncle Nigel on Christmas morning – and there’s someone out there who’s just waiting to discover your awkward laugh and unique taste in cologne.
In the meantime, chill out on your shelf. One day, you’ll be exactly what somebody’s looking for.
Whenever that happens here, I tell my customer that their book has been waiting for them a very long time.
— Omnivore Books (@omnivorebooks) November 18, 2018