Bleats

Beyoncé Casually Recording The Lion King In Trackies Is A Mood And A Half

Hakuna matata, indeed.

Celebs are just like us. They eat, sleep, go to the toilet, work jobs and have families to go home to. 

But Beyoncé is not a celeb- she is royalty. We will never in our wildest dreams achieve Beyoncé status. 

At least that’s what I thought up until I watched The Lion King featurette for the upcoming live-action film and realised maybe I’m more like Queen Bey than I thought. 

Or maybe…she’s more like me. 

Yes I am. Source: Giphy

The clip shows a bunch of behind the scenes footage of The Lion King being made, including some shots of the cast recording in audio booths in their trackies. That’s right, even Beyoncé can’t be arsed for work sometimes. 

Her jumper is probably some expensive designer label, but I’m just ignore that detail for the sake of my argument: Beyoncé is channeling her inner pleb and it’s a mood and a half. 

She’s done the smart thing and gone for comfort- when you’re a busy working woman sometimes that’s all that matters. Sneakers > stilettos any day. 

It’s a question I ask myself on the daily- do I rock up to work in a cute dress or can I wear my oldest comfiest stretchiest pants?

Bey knows the go. 

As do her co-stars because the featurette shows Donald Glover (Simba), Billy Eichner (Timone) and Seth Rogen (Pumba) also recording in their comfy clothes. 

This behind the scenes feature is the first time we’ve seen the whole cast together and it’s pretty damn epic.

We also get a peek at some new footage from the movie, including Timone’s iconic dad joke “What’s-a-motto with you?!” and our first look at Hakuna Matata and, honestly, I could pee myself with excitement. 

But I won’t do that because, like i said, I’m basically Beyoncé know and she’s not about that life.

Taylor Swift Just Proved That Ripping Off Beyoncé Is Probably Not A Good Idea

Where Kanye at?

You don’t need to be a Swiftie (I think that’s what Taylor Swift fans are called?) to have heard Taylor Swift’s new song. Mainly because radio stations far and wide are playing it on repeat as a new form of torture.

The song is called called ‘ME!’ and, in case you can’t already tell from my cynicism, I hate it. It’s got a marching band, a rainbow film clip and one of the lyrics is “spelling is fun.” I wish I was joking.

If you’re a sucker for pain, I’ll pop it at the very bottom of this article (where it belongs because it’s a hot mess) for you to watch later.

I like Taylor Swift and I’m not ashamed of that fact. But this tune just feels like a desperate attempt to stay relevant with her younger audience as her older fans stop listening to her music.

Her recent performance of the single at the Billboard Music Awards was… a bit flat. The song sounds even worse live. Not to mention Taylor basically ripped off Beyoncé’s Coachella 2018 opening, which is not cool.

Beyoncé isn’t responsible for inventing the marching band, but there’s no denying she did it better.

Beyoncé = pure fire feat. Destiny’s Child.

Taylor = rainbow nightmare feat. back-up dancers disguised as b-grade marching band members.

I feel personally offended by Taylor’s performance and I’m not even sure it was her intention to copy Queen Bey. There’s a real possibility the similarities between the performances could just be one messy misunderstanding. But still, the internet is not happy.

ATTN Taylor Swift: ripping off Beyoncé is probably not a good idea.

Girl should’ve listened to Kanye.

Imma let you finish Taylor, but Beyoncé did it first.

Remember, I warned you:

The Animal Kingdom Facts That Will Forever Ruin The Lion King For You

Can you feel the lies tonight?

The Lion King is a classic. It’s got all the trimmings of a good movie: comedy, tragedy, romance, ~impressive~ 1990s animation.

The kind of stuff you just can’t replicate (the live-action remake is gonna suck, IMO).

The Lion King might be all song and dance on screen but the real life African Serengeti is much more…unpolished, shall we say.

I mean, they are animals after all. And as cuddly and kind as they may look on screen (with the exception of Scar who will forever remind me of a crazy uncle) they’re slobby, messy horny bastards in real life.

And these animal kingdom facts will prove it.

WARNING: reading on may cause severe distress, nightmares, distrust toward your mother/father/parents and serious cynicism regarding all Disney films in future.

Let’s start with something on the gentler side of things: real-life lions sleep for 20 hours a day which means, if The Lion King was accurate, literally nothing would get done.

Imagine only having four hours to murder your brother, exile his son and steal his throne.

Tell that to Mufasa.

Fact number two (still warming you up): the closest animal relative to the hyena is a meerkat. Which means that Timone was probably related to Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed.

If you squint you can kinda see the resemblance.

Also, Mufasa was a fake king.

Don’t get me wrong, he was a great dude with a great voice courtesy of James Earl Jones, but he ain’t no king in the real world.

Lion society is actually matriarchal. The females do the hunting, establish hierarchy, look after cubs and basically run the show.

Speaking of male-female relations, here’s an extra special fact for you: there’s only one adult lion in each pride. Which means that one male gets all of the sexy time. Which means that with Scar gone Simba would have had to sex all of the female lions.

ALL of them.

That’s some serious mother-son bonding right there.

I’ll never watch this scene in the same away again.

The above fact also means that Simba and Nala are siblings.

I don’t condone sibling relations but the pride isn’t exactly full of options- Nala and Simba are the only cubs. Their romance is a product of their situation and makes practical sense.

Romantically it presents a whole bunch of issues, but I’m just gonna ignore those.

YUCK.

But there’s a reason that Nala and Simba are the only children in the pride.

Brace yourselves.

When a lion is killed or exiled (à la Mufasa) the new leader and his pride don’t want to bring up children that aren’t their own. They want to be able to breed their own family with the lionesses.

So what do they do? Commit casual infanticide.

Yep, Scar would have killed all the younglings in the pride after Mufasa’s death to establish power and throw all the lionesses back into heat.

The worst bit is Mufasa before him would have done the same thing. Which means that Mufasa is not the great guy we all thought he was.

Tbh, that is the worst reality-check of them all. Why Mufasa? WHY? 

Me finding out the truth about Mufasa.

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