I’m not going to lie – I’m a sucker for novelty makeup. Glitter face masks? I’m sold. Colour-changing lipsticks? It’s a yes from me. Holographic highlighter? Sign me up. But makeup shaped like genitals? That’s a hard pass.
They’re a lot of fun, but why do makeup brands think we want to apply and carry around penis-shaped or peen-themed beauty products? Unless you’re intent on celebrating a private hen’s party in front of your bathroom mirror every morning, these kinds of products seem rather unnecessary.
This week, cult beauty brand Nars Cosmetics made headlines with a new lipstick collection called ‘After Hours.’ A clip promoting the new range featured a lipstick melting in reverse, causing the shape to ripple and resemble a penis. As if that wasn’t spicy enough, Nars captioned the video, “When the nudes keep you up all night.”
The saucy video ruffled feathers, with Twitter users taking to the social media platform to express their shock. Chrissy Teigen chimed in, tweeting, “Honestly in love with this colour and now I must have it to soften my boner.” Another user was quite confused, and asked, “Is lipstick applied to some other part of the body now?”
The lipstick made people giggle and blush, but it also attracted plenty of criticism. “This makes me want to buy one, said no one ever. Gross,” one user tweeted.
Nars isn’t the only brand jumping on the novelty sex bandwagon, either. Bitch Slap Cosmetics has a ‘penis highlighter,’ a brush soap shaped like an angry naked man, and there’s even a ‘Unicorn Dick’ soap for those who like a little sparkle.
Let’s not forget about the plethora of vagina-themed beauty products out there, either. These days, you can get your hands on everything from a highlighter compact imprinted with a vulva, vagina-shaped soaps, and if your nail technician is game, a vajayjay manicure.
Do people really get beauty boners over these novelty products? Or are they a pointless waste of time?
In the defence of these ballsy beauty brands, there is so much competition out there, that perhaps the only way to make a statement and grab our attention is with a penis or two. You know what they say: sex sells, and apparently so do genital-shaped beauty products.