Bleats

The Celebrity Baby Names That Paved The Way For This Hellfire Free-For-All We Are Living In

What have we become?

Naming your baby has gone from choosing from a stock standard list of options to somewhat of a creative writing task. To each their own, but the celebrity baby name scene has most definitely encouraged a free-for-all.

How did we get to this place where YouTuber ‘Sarahs Day’ announced in this six-minute baby reveal video, that her little boy will go by ‘Fox Ocean Tilse’?

Celebrities.

While giving kids ‘unique’ names is far from the worst thing a person can do, it’s become a pretty wacky phenomenon. So let’s look back at who paved the way to this current state of ~creativity~ that we’re living in.

1991 – Memphis Eve Sunny Day

The second daughter of Bono, with one hell of a name.

1993 – Indio

Robert Downey Jr. and Deborah Falconer came up with this beauty.

1996 – Destry Allyn

Daughter of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw.

2002 – Maddox

Angelina Jolie’s oldest son, adopted from Cambodia in 2002.

2002 – Poppy Honey Rosie

Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton appear on this list five times. Get ready.

2003 – Daisy Boo Pamela

Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton.

2004 – Apple 

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s name for their daughter is perhaps one of the most famous left-of-centre baby names.

2006 – Shiloh Nouvel

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s eldest biological son.

2006 – Suri

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had baby Suri, which is actually a very cute name to be fair.

2009 – Petal Blossom Rainbow

Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton.

2009 – Sparrow James Midnight

Joel Madden and Nicole Richie’s son.

2010 – Buddy Bear Maurice

Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton.

2012 – Exton

Robert Downey, Jr. and Susan Downey’s first son.

2012 – Blue Ivy

When you’re the daughter of Beyoncé and Jay-Z I don’t think you should be too worried about pulling off this name.

2013 – North

The first daughter of the Kim and Kanye clan.

2014 – Avril Roel

Robert Downey Jr. strikes again.

2014 – Sunday Molly

Mike Myers’ daughter.

2014 – Reign

Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian clearly have big dreams for their son.

2015 – Saint

Kim and Kanye’s baby boy.

2016 – River Rocket Blue

Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton.

2016 – Dusty Rose

Daughter of Maroon 5’s Adam Levine and model Behati Prinsloo.

2018 – Chicago

Kim and Kanye’s daughter, of course.

2018 – Kulture Kiari

Cardi B and Offset’s baby girl sounds like she could be a Kardashian.

2018 – Stormi Webster

Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott might have the most famous baby in the world.

In conclusion, Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton really own this genre.

Never Forget How Horrible Our Reaction Was To Vanessa Hudgens' 2007 Leaked Nudes

We really sucked in 2007.

In 2006 when High School Musical rocked our worlds, Vanessa Hudgens quickly became the Disney Channel’s poster girl for teen innocence. She was young, beautiful, and presented as conservative to the point where her and Zac Efron’s characters Gabriella and Troy didn’t even kiss in the first HSM film.

So in 2007 when private, nude photos of Hudgens were leaked online, both the media and public reacted with disappointment that she wasn’t the squeaky clean, two-dimensional fantasy that we saw on Disney.

The coverage and conversations around Vanessa Hudgens leaked photos were not about the fact that a man had maliciously and illegally violated her privacy, but about criticising the teen star for taking the photos in the first place.

18-year-old Vanessa Hudgens even apologised for the scandal at the time, which shows the level of shame everyone was comfortable with a young woman feeling simply for privately enjoying her own body and sexuality.

“I want to apologize to my fans, whose support and trust means the world to me,” she said at the time. “I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos.”

The rhetoric reeked of slut shaming, and the idea that Hudgens had ‘let down’ Disney came from both outside and inside the company. That much is clear from a statement made by Joe Jonas in a 2016 interview, where he recalls working with Disney during the first Vanessa Hudgen’s nude photo scandal.

“We’d hear execs talking about it, and they would tell us that they were so proud of us for not making the same mistakes.” He told E!

In a statement to People back in 2007, a Disney spokesperson said about Vanessa’s photos:

“Vanessa has apologized for what was obviously a lapse in judgment. We hope she’s learned a valuable lesson.”

The victim blaming of Vanessa Hudgens was atrocious, and she honestly deserves an apology from Disney, and every media outlet and person who slut shamed her.

Over the years, Hudgens has been the target of revenge porn at least four times, usually maliciously timed to coincide with the release of her new projects. Her privacy was so frequently violated that it became a cruel joke that her nudes were ‘old news’, leaked by Vanessa herself, or that she should know better by now.

Vanessa was one of the celebrity victims of the large-scale 2014 illegal hacking and release of nude photos known as ‘The Fappening’, though thankfully by then the rhetoric around these incidents had changed dramatically to lay judgement on the hacker.

While slut-shaming is far from being erased entirely, the increased awareness of the problem with victim blaming means that those victims at least have some support. We would not expect them to apologise the way that Vanessa Hudgens was made to in order to continue her career. There has also been progress in the legal system cracking down on punishment for the criminals who share revenge porn and private photos.

Even though we have a long way still to go, we can be thankful that we have progressed past the point where the general consensus is slut-shaming victims of revenge porn. But it helps to remember the people we condemned within our lifetime, who we can now see with the benefit of hindsight, absolutely deserve our apology.  

If Justin Bieber’s Pregnancy Announcement Is A Joke, It’s Astoundingly Elaborate

Surely not.

Justin Bieber, ever the jokester, posted a picture of a sonogram to his Instagram. The sonogram isn’t Hailey’s, which can be deduced from the fact that the baby in the picture is fully formed and Hailey is not visibly pregnant, the date on the sonogram is February 2 from an unspecified year, and Biebs posted it on April Fool’s Day.

While some fell for the sonogram, a lot of people called it out as fake news.

But about 15 minutes later, JB followed up with another post, captioned,

“If U thought it was April fools,”

So if this is an April Fool’s prank, it is extremely elaborate. Did Justin and Hailey Bieber do a whole photoshoot with a medical professionals and the suggestive touching of her stomach area just for April Fool’s??? That seems bizarre.

If it is a prank I don’t know if I’m impressed of weirded out by the whole thing, but there are plenty of fellow celebrities commenting with their congratulations on Justin’s most recent post.

He also did mention fatherhood recently in a post about his mental health, so this could be the real deal, and just a very confusing way to share the news.

Honestly I don’t know what to believe any more.

UPDATE:

Right, so he posted this.

So there you go, a really really thorough and drawn out April Fool’s Day prank. A

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