I interrupt your morning to bring you some breaking news: there’s a whole sub-species of people who eat meat pies like monsters.
There’s no way I can explain this, so let me just show you:
If you’re eating a pot pie without flipping it over, you’re doing it wrong (important thread) pic.twitter.com/ytB32b4wHz
— Eater (@Eater) June 4, 2019
It just got suddenly cold. And dark. I’m pretty sure I can hear a baby crying somewhere and it’s raining outside. Everything feels sadder. This is not okay.
There’s a whole Twitter thread dedicated to justifying eating a pie like this, but I care too much for you to scar you in that way. If you’re a sucker for pain, you can have a look here.
The flawed logic comes out of America, which makes a whole lot of sense. A country which is known for fried chicken and cheese in a can should not be educating the world on how to eat a pie.
Leave that to the Aussies. Sit the hell down, America.
SIT. DOWN.
A meat pie no, a pie of any kind, should be enjoyed and celebrated like the delicious piece of art it is.
It shouldn’t be plonked onto a plate to sit sadly. It should be held up between two hands for the whole world to see.
It shouldn’t be flopped upside-down like the top crust doesn’t matter- the crust is the best bit. It should be bit into first. Or better, last. You should take the crusty lid off the pie, fill it with sauce, mix the sauce through the filling, eat the pie and then eat the top all by itself.
Dinnerware is not needed ever. Unless you plan to eat the pie like this:
Is this a crime? A woman has copped flack on social media for eating a meat pie with a fork at MCG. https://t.co/a9Y8qV2Ycm #straya
— PerthNow (@perthnow) March 29, 2019
This^ is the one and only exception to the no dinnerware rule.
For maximum enjoyment, purchase your meat pie from a local service station or stadium kiosk and enjoy at medium-warm temperature while watching a sports match.
Trust me, I’m Australian.