Bleats

Australia Has Too Many Rules Because People Are Stupid And We Don't Deserve Fun

Australia, the nanny capital of the world.

The reason everyone says everything is better in Europe is because everything is better in Europe. You feel freer over there because things are freer. 

You have more fun in places like Spain and Italy and France because you’re able to. 

Think about it – think about how much more you can do in Europe that you can’t do in Australia. 

In Europe, you can ride a bike without a helmet, wander freely onto public transport, and drink in the streets without worrying about being fined. Where Australia is a country of laws, Europe is a place of trust. 

People are trusted to do the right thing. They’re trusted to ride a bike and not fall off, trusted to buy a ticket before boarding a train, and trusted to drink in public without becoming a drunken disruption. 

In Europe, people are treated like adults who can make their own decision and are trusted to make the right decision. 

Trusted is the key word here. Source: Giphy

At home, we’re nannied. Babied. Subject to laws which control every part of our lives. 

I understand some laws exist for a very important reason – safety. Things like no jaywalking are fair enough. If you’re crossing the road where you shouldn’t be, especially while on your phone or during busy traffic, there’s a high risk there. The law exists to keep us safe. 

However, the smaller, simpler things – the things that impact our lifestyle and value of life – are the things that should not be policed. We can’t even drink coffee in our own car for goodness sake! 

Such a joke. Source: Giphy

These laws exist in Australia because some – not all- of us are idiots who need babysitting. The sub-species within the Australian population that can’t be trusted to act responsibly so need to be kept in check. 

Of course, no place in the world, Europe included, is totally idiot-free. But the thing about Europe is that self-awareness is the norm. Europeans have been raised into a culture where the only rule is “don’t be reckless” and successfully manage to live by this. 

Bikes (and uh, other greener things) are everywhere in Amsterdam but helmets are not. 

Walk through Paris during a festival or celebration like Bastille Day and you’ll see people walking through the streets with a bottle of wine in hand or serving champagne from street carts. 

Australia, on the other hand? Not so much. Lockout laws are in place to stop violence on the streets which, on paper, is a good move. Violence is bad and definitely something no one wants. However, policing violence and controlling nightlife should be mutually exclusive. In other words, people should be punished for being violent idiots but not stopped from having a good night. 

No one can stand around in a town square in Sydney or Melbourne or wherever and just sip on a cold one. Compare this to places like Rome where people gather in piazzas from all hours to share a few drinks, eat snacks and share stories. 

San Sebastian in Spain takes this one step further: their entire night life is built on a code of trust. Bartenders will willingly serve customers food and drinks all night without worrying about the time and without asking for payment because people are trusted to cover the cost of the total bill when they eventually decide to leave. 

In Rome and in San Sebastian there is no violence and there are no idiots. 

Even though this is how things should be, it’s definitely not how things in the land of Aus. 

Need some ruby slippers to get the hell outta here. Source: Giphy

It’s not just the idiots that ruin the fun – it’s the complainers. People in Australia complain about everything. Street performers are a nuisance, street art is vandalism. Things like the rainbow pedestrian crossing on Oxford Street in Sydney and political mural’s painted by Scott Marsh in Sydney’s most popular suburbs. 

These are the things that you see everywhere in Europe and that add culture and character to their way of life. They’re the small things you enjoy as you walk down the street; dancing alongside the jazz band performing on a Parisian street corner is what makes your day. 

Instead, in Australia, the complaints pour in, and creativity and fun and relaxed living are stifled. Our extensive laws and their overregulation are stopping Australia from developing its own sense of personality and culture. 

Things are bland – we have the idiots and complainers to thank for that. 

Woman Are Daring The Government To Arrest Them For Their 'Criminal' Abortions

So powerful.

The New South Wales government is currently in the process of attempting to decriminalise abortion. 

A bill will be debated in state parliament this week and has sparked protests from parties on both sides of the argument outside parliament house for the last week. 

If passed, the bill would allow for terminations for women up to 22 weeks of pregnancy, and after this time if two doctors believe it is necessary considering medical, physical, social and psychological circumstances.

It would also make it illegal for anyone who is not authorised to perform an abortion – attracting a maximum penalty of seven years imprisonment.

The bottom line is that women should be given the choice to decide what happens to their bodies, not have their decisions made for them by people and a government who do not know their circumstance. 

Under the current law however, the simple act of getting an abortion can send a woman to jail which isn’t very fair at all. 

To draw attention to the absurdity of this and take a stand against anti-abortion ways of thinking, women online are using the hashtag #ArrestUs to share their stories about having an abortion – what their circumstances were and what drove their decision. 

Daring the government to arrest them is a definite power play and a smart one at that. The hashtag is a call-back to a campaign in the 1970s in which eighty women took out an advertisement in a national newspaper declaring themselves to be criminals for having abortions.

One of those women, Wendy McCarthy, founded the Women’s Electoral Lobby and explained to Buzzfeed:

“We wanted to provoke the cops because we thought if it is illegal and they’re getting poor women for this, then why don’t they come for us? We were the first real tranche of university educated women in Australia, which was a privilege, and we felt secure about [placing the advertisement].”

A post by the official #ArrestUs Facebook page also mentions the campaign in the 1970s and explains the ethos behind the current movement: 

Seeing as NSW is yet to listen to these women’s stories of their own accord, let’s hope calling the government’s bluff with incite them to make proper change. 

That or they’re going to have to start arresting. 

Possum Magic Is A Damn National Treasure And Deserves A Movie

I’ll bring the lamingtons.

As a kid I hated to read. Hated it. I only made two exceptions: the Cosmo sealed section (when my parents weren’t looking) and Men Fox’s Possum Magic

What can I say, I have very cultured taste.

#DONTJUDGE. Source: Giphy

Possum Magic brought me joy on multiple occasions and makes me crave Aussie sweets every single time I read it. It’s a damn national treasure and has been recognised over the years with awards, a stage play, and a cook book which features recipes for all of the treats mentioned in the original book. 

But there’s one accolade it hasn’t yet been given: a movie. 

In a world where remakes have become the norm and where every second movie is a ‘family film’ (this year alone there’s been Toy Story 4, The Secret Life of Pets 2, Frozen II, The Adams Family, and more) this baffles me. 

Almost all of Roald Dahl’s iconic children’s tales has received it’s own film and yet one of the most iconic children’s book in Aussie history has never been put on the big screen. I don’t think it’s ever been pitched for a movie. 

I have no idea. Source: Giphy

Possum Magic would be, well, magic as a movie. 

It shouldn’t be a live-action movie – we don’t need more hyperreal animals on screen, The Lion King was enough thanks. It should be an animated film with the same stylistic flair as Monsters Inc: bright colours, realistic fur, lots of fun. 

Imagine watching Julie Vivas’ beautiful illustrations come to life as animations. Hush the baby possum would be so damn cute and the Vegemite sandwiches, lamingtons, and pavlovas would look extra delicious.

More importantly, a Possum Magic movie is basically destined to be successful. The story is nostalgic, it’s popular, and it’s adored. Both children and adults who grew up with the book would absolutely watch the film and absolutely love it.

If I had the power to make this happen I would, but that’s sadly not the world I live in. So I’m manifesting to the universe: a Possum Magic movie is going to happen.*

*Someone just needs to give it a contract first. 

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