Avast, nation! Your federal commodore, Scott “Sea Dog” Morrison has announced that there will be a celebration in 2020 of the 250th anniversary of Australia’s discovery!
Well, “discovery” is a strong word and only works provided that we quietly ignore the people which had been living here for 70 thousand years or so before that, which seems to be the consistent plan when it comes to these sorts of anniversaries.
No, we’re going to mark the occasion that a European first set foot on the continent, which was… OK, technically, it was the Dutch sailor Willem Janzoon in 1606. But that doesn’t count: we’re celebrating the first Englishman to arrive which, as everyone knows, was… er, William Dampier in 1688.
Learning is fun!
No, the celebration is of the arrival of Captain Cook at what would eventually be called Australia in 1770, and will include a replica Endeavour sailing right around the country.
“As the 250th anniversary nears we want to help Australians better understand Captain Cook’s historic voyage and its legacy for exploration, science and reconciliation,” the current PM said in a statement.
“That voyage is the reason Australia is what it is today and it’s important we take the opportunity to reflect on it… Our government will ensure Australians young and old can see first-hand the legacy of Captain Cook and the voyage of the Endeavour.”
Scott Morrison on Captain Cook: "I think we need to rediscover him a bit. Because he gets a bit of a bad show. It’s very trendy to talk down James Cook." #auspol
— Michael Koziol (@michaelkoziol) January 21, 2019
“Reflection” certainly seems appropriate, given the often bloody history which followed when Cook’s naturalist, Joseph Banks, decided that he didn’t care for these Aboriginal folks and then advised the King that there was no point trying to negotiate with them as the Crown had done elsewhere, thereby starting the whole “terra nullius” thing.
Of course, “reflect” and “nice sailing trip” are not the same thing. And sure, there might be better ways to spend almost $7 million of taxpayer money.
If only Scott Morrison cared as much about the 80 seafarers he let BHP sack last week as he does about Captain Cook.
— Sally McManus (@sallymcmanus) January 22, 2019
Also, there are a few teeny-tiny things about this plan which are a bit… well, weird.
First up, (not technically a) Captain Cook didn’t ever circumnavigate Australia, so commemorating the occasion thusly seems like a weird thing to do.
Someone did circumnavigate Australia, but it was rather a long time later – it wasn’t completed until 1803 – and that person was named Matthew Flinders. He was also the bloke who also came up with the idea of calling the place “Australia”. Maybe save the circumnavigation for then?
Also, for a government all about Stopping The Boats, why are they celebrating an unauthorised arrival? Has no-one heeded the lessons of Morrison’s weird office-trophy?
The prime minister has an 'I Stopped These' boat trophy in his office: https://t.co/nranKzF9va #auspol pic.twitter.com/YZZFBEoQH3
— Peter Martin (@1petermartin) September 19, 2018
In any case the chances of Morrison being leader of the party, much less Prime Minister, seems pretty low right at the moment.
So maybe chalk this strange new idea up to a bit of pre-election flag-kissing from a PM whose avowed passion for Australian history rarely suggests much actual reading of it.