Bleats

Kevin The Kookaburra's Alleged Killer Flees Australia, And Likely Justice

The poor bird stole a chip from someone and got decapitated as a result.

The story of Kevin the Kookaburra has taken a new and dramatic turn as it is reported that his alleged killer has fled Australia.

To quickly recap what’s happened so far, Kevin the Kookaburra was having a normal day just chilling outside the Parkerville Tavern in Perth and occasionally stealing food from pubgoers.

But the bird stole a chip off the wrong person’s plate as the wronged man got so enraged that he allegedly decapitated Kevin with his bare hands.

Following the alleged incident, the man reportedly (via 9News) has been inundated with so many death threats that his lawyer, Ross Williamson, has said that he’s fled Australia with his partner.

While refusing to discuss details of the case, the allegations or whether his client is responsible or not for Kevin the kookaburra’s death, Williamson did state that he issued out two restraining orders to women who were involved in an online vigilante campaign.

Williamson also tried to make it clear that the kookaburra is an “invasive species” and Kevin in particular is a known nuisance.

“I’ve told people to stop threatening to kill, harm or rape my client. The kookaburra is an invasive species in WA. Until recently you could shoot them with impunity and people used to do that and get a community service award for doing that sort of thing.

“This particular bird I have reports about. It has attacked children. It’s injured the faces of children… this bird is – or was – a dangerous nuisance animal and the Parkerville Tavern should have done something to deal with it.”

Just wanted to clarify though that kookaburras are actually a native species and are only considered an invasive species in Tasmania.

Anyway, Williamson then turned his attention to the state government and had a go at them for focusing on investigating the alleged decapitation of Kevin the kookaburra rather than going after those making death threats to his client.

“I hear nothing about the police investigating and prosecuting people for making threats to harm, kill and rape my clients. I call on the police to do that – to investigate this criminal vigilante.”

Well he’s not wrong about the investigation part.

Following Kevin’s decapitation, RSPCA WA issued a statement confirming that they’re pursuing the matter while Agriculture and Food Minister, Alannah MacTiernan, has confirmed that the incident is under review, saying: “We are now checking with the department whether or not this can be characterised as an act of animal cruelty.”

It remains to be seen how this unfortunate tale of Kevin the kookaburra will resolve itself, whether the alleged killer will be brought to justice, and whether Williamson’s client who fled the country will return to Australia at some point.

But for now, let’s have a beer and put out a plate of pub chips in memory of Kevin the kookaburra.

Kevin The Kookaburra Was Decapitated Because A Manbaby Lost His Temper

Nothing warrants the decapitation of a kookaburra. Nothing.

People lose their temper from time to time and it’s a natural thing. But there’s nothing natural about a puffy-chested bro getting so enraged that decapitating a kookaburra’s head is considered to be a reasonable action to take.

The Parkerville Tavern in Perth is not only home to pubgoers, it is also the local hang out spot for a kookaburra, known locally as Kevin, who has a tendency to steal food from people’s plates.

According to 9News, a man was at the Parkerville Tavern when Kevin stole some of his food. Enraged, the man reportedly attacked Kevin and ripped it’s head off in retaliation.

Sadly for Kevin, it doesn’t look like he’ll get any justice either as the manbaby has not been charged due to a weird loophole in the Animal Welfare Act.

In a statement from RSPCA WA, Chief Inspector Amanda says Kevin’s “horrific” decapitation may not constitute as an offence under the Animal Welfare Act 2002.

“While RSPCA WA Inspectors can only take action under the Animal Welfare Act where an animal has suffered, the incident with Kevin the Kookaburra may have contravened laws designed specifically to protect native wildlife.”

So in other words, the man couldn’t be charged for ripping off a kookaburra’s head because it was killed so quickly that it didn’t suffer and thus doesn’t meet the standard of “animal cruelty”.

Uhhh, what?!?

That being said, RSPCA WA is still pursuing the matter and is calling for stricter laws to ensure this sort of horrendous behaviour doesn’t happen again or go unpunished.

Agriculture and Food Minister, Alannah MacTiernan, has confirmed that the incident is under review, saying: “We are now checking with the department whether or not this can be characterised as an act of animal cruelty.”

There’s eating live possums level of cooked but this is a whole new level of twisted altogether. Seriously, how could any reasonable person justify the decapitation of a kookaburra by claiming it stole some food off your plate?

Here’s hoping Kevin the kookaburra receives the justice he deserves and the manbaby who did the terrible act gets his just deserts.

Today I Learned Of 'Rack Man', One Of Australia's Most Notorious Unsolved Murders

25 years on and still no closer to solving the mystery.

Australia is a big country with even bigger mysteries, many of which remain unsolved. Of the many strange happenings that have happened Down Under over the years, there are few that boggle the mind more than the creepy unsolved murder of “Rack Man”.

In 1994, Mark Peterson was out fishing on the Hawkesbury River in Sydney and hoping for a good catch. The sun was shining and conditions were ripe for a great day.

After feeling a heavy tug on his fishing net, Mark thought he struck gold. But it turns out his catch wasn’t the school of fish he had hoped. Instead, it was a crude steel crucifix with the remains of a human body, which was wrapped in plastic and arranged accordingly, tied to it.

Needless to say that Mark’s day went from great to horrible in record time.

After calling the police immediately (and presumably retiring from fishing immediately), the body was retrieved for examination.

Once forensic pathologists did their magic on the body, they found that the body belonged to a Caucasian male with dark hair aged between 21 to 41 who had died from a big blow to the head. Beyond establishing a basic description and confirmation that the dude was pretty short (a mere 163cm tall, give or take a bit), the police were immediately stumped.

Since the body was so eroded by the water, identifying features like fingerprints and DNA samples were impossible to use meaning that the identity of the deceased man remains a mystery.

With Rack Man unable to be identified, it also meant that figuring out his killer and the circumstances that led to his watery discovery was next-to-impossible for the police since they literally have nothing to go off.

After attempts at figuring out Rack Man’s identity using the clothes off his body failed, the police reconstructed the man’s face using computers and spread the word out to the public in hopes of getting the lead that’s evaded then.

But despite many tips, false rumours and initial promising leads into Rack Man’s identity, the case remains as one of Australia’s most notorious unsolved murders even today as police have yet to close it.

At the time of writing, the remains of Rack Man lie in a morgue somewhere, waiting for someone to come and hopefully shed some light on who this mysterious person is.

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