So we have a new PM Scott Morrison, but this has been a wild ride. A lot of effort has gone into trying to understand how exactly our government could get to such a point of self-implosion this week, and yet, it is still beyond my comprehension.
That probably has a little to do with the fact that political analysis is not my beat but a lot to do with the fact that we have not considered the astrological explanation for the Libspill disaster that was right in front of us all along.
Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Dutton and Tony Abbott are all Scorpios.
Dutton, Turnbull and Abbott are all Scorpios. This explains a lot. #auspol #libspill pic.twitter.com/yzSfvNUJPL
— Sophie June Giles (@SophieJuneGiles) August 24, 2018
(Yes this is my own tweet, I’m very funny and my take is very original.)
That’s right, this game of Prime Minister musical chairs that cost us hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars is not due to almost all key players being privileged, power-hungry white men – no no! It is in fact because this mess was written in the stars.
Scorpios are one of the three emotional water signs. They are angered easily, they tend to act out and make enemies in response to drama, they’re self-destructive, resentful and at times sadistic.
The coalition’s fatal error was having November babies Turnbull, Dutton and Abbott working together, as the zodiac compatibility of Scorpios is to bring out the worst in each other. With the Scorpio vices coming out in full storm, the trash fire that is Australian politics this week is almost comprehensible.
Meanwhile, our late-entry PM contenders Scott Morrison (AKA our current PM) and Julie Bishop are of the Taurus and Cancer signs respectively. It is all suddenly making so much sense.
For Scorpios, the relationship to the grounded Taurus earth signers is one of desperation. And if desperation isn’t a descriptor for Australia suddenly seeing ScoMo as a relatively good option for our leader against Mr. Potato Head, then I don’t know what is.
As our solitary earth sign, it’s no wonder that ScoMo came out on top.
The real insight, however, lies in their horoscopes. It turns out all the political insight you need is over at Astrology.com.
Our Scorpio crew’s horoscope for today reads
“Get ready to make some waves and turn some heads. Whatever you do today, you should go all-out and push things as far as you can. If you’re in a business mood, be aggressive and don’t let job titles intimidate you.”
And let job titles intimidate them they absolutely did not.
Julie Bishop’s horoscope literally says this. I am not making this up. This mess was destined from birth people.
“If you feel like getting carried away today, by all means do it! This is one of those rare days when no lives hang in the balance of your actions, no dire consequences threaten your every move, and no one’s expecting you to do anything for them. “
Man, Julie got played hard by the stars.
And finally, Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s horoscope advised outright political manipulation and my god did he take it to heart.
“Being aggressive can be a game-winning strategy, but only if you adopt it at the right time – and in the right place. If you don’t want to let someone else have more power than you, you could at least give them the illusion that they have more power over you.”
Well played ScoMo, well played.
Anywho, I know you didn’t expect a non-political writer to be the one to make sense out of the whole Libspill thing, and you know what, neither did I.
But here we are and I cracked the code.