It’s amazing how quickly you can go from someone who couldn’t even spell all the zodiac signs to an uncertified (and unsolicited) natal chart reader. Astrology is a slippery slope and the fall is full of self-reflection, anthropological insight, and a lot of memes.
So in the spirit human behavioural analysis, let’s break down exactly how one goes from being a non-believer to a full blown astrology person.
These are the seven stages of accepting your love for astrology.
#1. Shock or Disbelief
If astrology is crystal meth then astrology memes are weed. They are the gateway drug. Except in this analogy there are no legal or health concerns involved, because astrology provides a family friendly, life-long high.
“It was just a few memes!” You’ll say. “How am I suddenly following multiple astrological meme accounts?!” You’ll say. “Why am I asking people their star signs?” You’ll say.
“Am I…one of them???” You’ll say. And soon enough, you’ll know.
https://twitter.com/SheeeRatchet/status/776191724909531136?
#2. Denial
But first comes denial. Whether or not you have the self-awareness to notice it yourself, no doubt people around you (especially non-believers) will comment on the sudden uptick in astrology banter.
It’s normal to resist at first, so don’t be surprised if you feel eager to rationalise your interest as mere fun. As you assure people that your passion for astrology content is really just a joke, ask yourself, who are you really trying to convince?
*uses my one phone call from jail to check my horoscope*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 8, 2015
#3. Anger
Sometimes astrology provides confronting insights into yourself that you were not prepared to face, so anger is understandable. It can be extremely overwhelming to feel so monumentally seen by astrological readings of your own personality.
Taurus’s don’t want to hear they’re stubborn, Libra’s don’t want to hear they’re indecisive, Sagittarius‘s don’t want to hear they’re unruly, and Leo’s…well honestly they love hearing anything about themselves. But you get the idea.
Accepting our weaknesses as well as our strengths is a pillar of astrology, but it can take some time to come around to this style of thorough self-analysis.
#4. Bargaining
The deeper you wade into astrological content, the more you find to disagree with. Scenarios like the following are likely to arise:
You read a compatibility chart of you and the person you just started dating, and hypothetically, you see that it forecasts an unsatisfactory sex life in your relationship. Hypothetically. So you start bargaining. “It doesn’t count if it wasn’t a full natal chart reading!” You’ll protest.
Basically, anything that is incorrect or disagreeable can usually be passed off as a generalisation that wouldn’t be in your full natal chart. How good are natal charts.
#5. Guilt
Now that you’ve come this far, a healthy dose of guilt for the agnostic life you used to lead is actually good. You need to cleanse yourself from the culture that belittles astrology for its association with women’s interests.
The stigma is gendered. Girly stuff is awesome. Astrology is for everyone.
Let the guilt wash through you as you are reborn as someone open-minded, non-judgemental, and astrologically aware.
#6. Depression/Sorrow
Don’t stress too much about stage #6. It’s probably just Mercury in retrograde.
#7. Acceptance and Hope
Congratulations, you made it. You have accepted the value of astrology as a tool that comforts, unites, and also holds space for each person’s own uniqueness and doubts.
Even the staff astrologer for Broadly admits that while they take astrology very seriously, they don’t necessarily believe in it. Astrology is about believing in the potential for truth, without needing definitive proof. We can never know all the secrets to the universe, and we need to be able to sit comfortably with that.
Anyway, this is you now:
Next stop: crystal collection.