I don’t know a lot about D.C’s Aquaman movie, but I do know that superheroes are sexy. Jason Momoa is very sexy. So Jason Momoa playing a superhero is innately erotically charged.
Between the strangeness of the movie posters and the Pitbull ‘Africa’ feature on the soundtrack, the sexiness of Aquaman is one of the few things I know to be good.
So it’s not super surprising that sex toy manufacturers are capitalising on our aqua-thirst by producing bootleg scaly sex toys.
Specifically, Australian company Geeky Sex Toys have released the AquaMoan. It’s a silicone dildo with features that explicitly emulate the texture and colour scheme of the Justice League hero, and it is beautiful.
The AquaMoan is almost definitely an unlicensed piece of merchandise but no legal consequences have incurred yet that we know of, so who are we to condemn the enigmatic scaly dildo? They’re going for AU$85 a pop and there is only 500 of these specially-made sex toys – Geeky Sex Toys is actually marketing this as a collectors item.
Although what’s the fun of keeping something like this in the box?
According to the product page it seems that the AquaMoan is actually designed for underwater use – as it’s fitted with a “strong suction cup”. Geeky is encouraging that you,
“Let the King of the Seven Seas swim into the deepest darkest depths of your downstairs today!”
Which, considering that the King is Jason Momoa, honestly doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
If you’re more inclined to the non-scaly heroes of the Geeky universe, they’ve also made (likely unlicensed) toys inspired by franchises like the Avengers, Star Wars, and Guardians of the Galaxy. So there truly is something for everyone in the world of geek themed dildos. What a time to be alive.