Bleats

If You Didn’t Think Humans Were Rubbish Already, Just Look At This Baby Bird Chuffing A Dart

Smoking kills.

I love David Attenborough documentaries. If I had to choose between watching Planet Earth and Mean Girls I would choose Planet Earth, hands down. 

I also wanted to be a veterinarian for a really long time until I realised I probably couldn’t handle seeing sick pets every day.

Long story short, I love animals of all kinds and I’m kind of a science nerd. But my love for fluffy geeky things doesn’t make me an expert. 

But I don’t have to be an expert to be able to acknowledge what we’re doing to our wildlife. And neither do you. We hear about it all the time- there is no ignoring the message- we’re killing our planet. 

Still, humans live in a constant state of denial. 

I’m sick and tired of watching people palm off responsibility to the ‘experts’: to the scientists and researchers and government officials that they think should be making changes. 

They can make changes, but so can we. Starting with not throwing your cigarette butts out wherever you please. 

If me banging on about you not littering won’t get you to do the right thing, then maybe this picture of a black skimmer bird feeding her chick a cigarette will: 

The picture was captured by wildlife photographer Karen Mason in Florida, USA. 

The longer I look at it, the angrier it makes me.  

Birds can easily mistake cigarette filters for food and often feed them to their young- they’re roughly the same size and shape as a worm, so it makes sense. 

The birds don’t know any better- the mother is trying to nurture her baby and, together, they’re just trying to survive. We know better. We can literally see the impact of our actions and still we refuse to course correct. 

Talking to the BBC,  a spokesman for the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) said: 

“Nature is struggling to adapt to the things we are doing to our planet; every year, we see more animals trapped, injured or killed by man-made products. We are even seeing litter being used as nesting material.

“Unfortunately for many people, littering seems harmless, at worst it makes an area look untidy; however, heartbreaking images like reveal the true impact of littering on our wildlife.”

Littering is nothing but laziness. It’s not a matter of “oh I can’t throw my rubbish out”, it’s “oh I can’t be bothered.” 

An accurate representation of how I feel. Source: Giphy

Apparently, it’s too hard to walk an extra few metres to a rubbish bin, or hold onto your empty water bottles and apple cores and plastic straws until you get home. 

Here’s something some of you might find shocking: it’s not that hard. 

Stop dismissing your laziness and start taking responsibility for your actions and your trash. Walking to the bin might lose you an extra two seconds but it will gain the planet a whole lot more. 

Someone think of the children baby birds. 

The Animal Kingdom Facts That Will Forever Ruin The Lion King For You

Can you feel the lies tonight?

The Lion King is a classic. It’s got all the trimmings of a good movie: comedy, tragedy, romance, ~impressive~ 1990s animation.

The kind of stuff you just can’t replicate (the live-action remake is gonna suck, IMO).

The Lion King might be all song and dance on screen but the real life African Serengeti is much more…unpolished, shall we say.

I mean, they are animals after all. And as cuddly and kind as they may look on screen (with the exception of Scar who will forever remind me of a crazy uncle) they’re slobby, messy horny bastards in real life.

And these animal kingdom facts will prove it.

WARNING: reading on may cause severe distress, nightmares, distrust toward your mother/father/parents and serious cynicism regarding all Disney films in future.

Let’s start with something on the gentler side of things: real-life lions sleep for 20 hours a day which means, if The Lion King was accurate, literally nothing would get done.

Imagine only having four hours to murder your brother, exile his son and steal his throne.

Tell that to Mufasa.

Fact number two (still warming you up): the closest animal relative to the hyena is a meerkat. Which means that Timone was probably related to Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed.

If you squint you can kinda see the resemblance.

Also, Mufasa was a fake king.

Don’t get me wrong, he was a great dude with a great voice courtesy of James Earl Jones, but he ain’t no king in the real world.

Lion society is actually matriarchal. The females do the hunting, establish hierarchy, look after cubs and basically run the show.

Speaking of male-female relations, here’s an extra special fact for you: there’s only one adult lion in each pride. Which means that one male gets all of the sexy time. Which means that with Scar gone Simba would have had to sex all of the female lions.

ALL of them.

That’s some serious mother-son bonding right there.

I’ll never watch this scene in the same away again.

The above fact also means that Simba and Nala are siblings.

I don’t condone sibling relations but the pride isn’t exactly full of options- Nala and Simba are the only cubs. Their romance is a product of their situation and makes practical sense.

Romantically it presents a whole bunch of issues, but I’m just gonna ignore those.

YUCK.

But there’s a reason that Nala and Simba are the only children in the pride.

Brace yourselves.

When a lion is killed or exiled (à la Mufasa) the new leader and his pride don’t want to bring up children that aren’t their own. They want to be able to breed their own family with the lionesses.

So what do they do? Commit casual infanticide.

Yep, Scar would have killed all the younglings in the pride after Mufasa’s death to establish power and throw all the lionesses back into heat.

The worst bit is Mufasa before him would have done the same thing. Which means that Mufasa is not the great guy we all thought he was.

Tbh, that is the worst reality-check of them all. Why Mufasa? WHY? 

Me finding out the truth about Mufasa.

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