Alan Jones is the latest person of note to be immortalised in paint by Anh Do on his ABC program Brush With Fame.
It’s a feel good show where a significant Australian gets to freestyle about their life and career while Anh gets all painterly and this episode was no different: Jones waxed lyrical about his upbringing, his sports career, his political career as speechwriter for Malcolm Fraser, and his time as a broadcasting juggernaut.
But perhaps the most moving moment was when he spoke about the time that he was terribly wronged by Julia Gillard, then Prime Minister of Australia, who has yet to apologise to him over that time he said: “The old man recently died a few weeks ago of shame. To think that he had a daughter who told lies every time she stood for parliament.”
The backlash at the time was swift and terrible, with Jones losing syndication in some markets, advertisers leaving in droves and… well, zero long term repercussions. But it’s clear he’s still furious about how he was wronged by Gillard and her thoughtless dead father John.
As he explained, what happened was that he was coming to the private Young Liberals dinner after going to his godson’s birthday and they were being hilarious about everyone and everyone – even him! – and he’d just gotten to the bit of the night where he was auctioning off a chaff bag to drown the PM in, as all of us have because talking about drowning a woman – as Jones did – is both hilarious and perfectly normal.
And then some mean person recorded his words and made them public. Which, as Jones makes clear, is AGAINST THE LAW but no-one investigated that because justice is a lie and Alan Jones is basically the Nelson Mandela of insulting people over their just-deceased father.
And yet, things got even worse.
“When it became public I called Julia and she didn’t take my call. I publicly apologised and I legitimately apologised. I’m not apologising for the fact that I said it because it was it was said privately and you can’t withdraw that, it’s done. But at the same time it was made public and had the potential to hurt her feelings and all the rest of it. Then you’re obligated to offer an apology and that apology was sincere.”
And as we all know, nothing is more sincere than an apology that includes the phrase “I’m not apologising for the fact that I said because it was said privately”.
In any case, it’s nice to see that the matter still sticks in his craw, even if it’s just making him feel righteously indignant about how hard done by he is for being criticised over insulting the PM over her beloved and just-passed dad.
But also, it’s a great reminder about just what sort of a man he truly is. So that’s something.